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Dating after divorce: The 3-date rule

Dating after divorce: The 3-date rule

Word in the locker room, ladies, is that many men have a rule that if they don’t get lucky by the third date, there isn’t a fourth…

Can one really be so prescriptive about dating, I wonder. And who on earth came up with the number three?

Somehow, though, the idea of having a set number of dates in which to wait before deciding it’s appropriate to hop into bed doesn’t seem such a bad thing. I don’t care what anyone says, there is a difference to the way men and women perceive sex and for a lot of women (I’d argue most), the sexual leap is a hugely emotional one too. So why not give yourself a predetermined number of dates in which to figure out whether this is someone you actually want to be sharing bodily juices with.

However, when it comes to making your intentions (or lack thereof) clear, it’s not so cut and dried. Timing, it would seem, is everything. It’s too late to say “sorry, buddy, but you’re not getting any tonight” when your bra and panties are hanging over the headboard.

I guess this begs the question: Whatever happened to, if it’s right it’s right? As a woman, I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I know if I’m going to sleep with a guy within five minutes of meeting him. And if I can’t at least picture myself in the sack with him, he doesn’t get a second date, I’m afraid. Life’s too short for games.

Of course, that’s not to say I will sleep with him. I have heard of the thrill of the chase. Thanks to my relationship guru sister, I’m well versed in the “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” school of thinking. She calls it delayed gratification – or eating the cake and leaving the frosting for last.

So, no, not a set cap on numbers of dates before sex, but yes to taking it slow. If for no other reason than to protect your heart.

– Single-again Samantha


Raquel Hunter

Raquel is a dynamic digital start-up executive and social media engagement strategist, with 12+ years of significant online start-up experience; Internet business growth; development, marketing, and implementation. She has 6+ years of experience in integrating social media engagement strategies and best digital practices. Raquel has excellent business acumen and exceptional problem-solving abilities. She is adept at aggressively identifying opportunities. Raquel is an excellent oral and written communicator with exceptional interpersonal skills. Since 2000, Raquel has published hundreds of articles on MamasHealth.com about health, wellness, lifestyle, eating disorders, acupuncture, Stomach ulcers, and nutrition. Her research on Stomach Ulcers in Children has appeared in “Health Reference Series: First Edition Childhood Diseases and Disorders Sourcebook”. Raquel served on the UCLA Alumni Association South Bay Bruins Board for 8 years. As Co-Scholarship Fundraising Chair and Newsletter Chair, Raquel helped the South Bay Bruins establish an Endowment for Community College students who have transferred to UCLA. As an undergraduate of UCLA, Raquel was part of a team of researchers and received notable mention in the acknowledgements of the publication “Beyond the Rhetoric of Charter School Reform.”

One thought on “Dating after divorce: The 3-date rule

  1. I agree with Dr. Phil. Ninety days is the best rule. This allows you to get to know if he is really free or just fishing for free fish.

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