#TellUsAnything: I wanted the perfect picture

#TellUsAnything: I wanted the perfect picture

It was never intentional, the comments my family and friends made.  It was all meant so innocently.  But eventually, it was grinding me down. I had always thought myself to be overweight, and they simply picked on that nervous thought.

I was always trying to impress my boyfriend, who was far to old for me in the first place.  Seeing all the other girls that were just so perfect made me sick. I wanted it so bad, the perfect figure.  Slowly I began eating less.

Nobody truly realized it.  Its amazing how blind people can be to what is right in front of them especially when its dwindling away.  As I ate less I began to exercise. I had always hated running, but in a matter of 2 months I was running anywhere from 2 to 4 miles daily.  Running so hard that I would vomit.  I hated it, but in a sense I loved it, it was transforming me.  I never realized that I had a problem.

After losing over 15 pounds in approximately three months, I was feeling great.  I never truly thought how unnatural it was that my hips stuck out farther than my stomach, or that my originally size 9 jeans were gone and I had dropped to a size one! My parents and family began to question me, and noted my becoming anemic. I never understood and wouldn’t believe their accusations.

It took months of convincing, and a lot of support. But I couldn’t be forced. My mom and friends shared with me their support and I pulled through.  I stopped exercising excessively, and began eating more. When friends and family began to remark “wow, you look good, your cheeks argent so sunken in!” it made me realize how bad I had messed up. I didn’t have a gaunt expression anymore and my ribs didn’t show.  I had been sleeping excessively, but now I had energy.

I’m back to normal now, and everyone supports me, so I don’t fall back to the old way.  Its extremely hard to overcome, but everyone should know there is always help.  While the thought and temptation will always be in my head, I can look back at photos and realize that I looked like a skeleton with skin stretched over it.  I’m much happier now, and I’ve learned to diet in a much healthier manner.  I just have to remember that support and hope can shine bright, even in the darkest of times.

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