About six years ago it came out with a vengeance. We have tried every known medication, treatment, chemo all to no avail. Now my only hope is that a stem cell transplant will work, or that God will come and heal me. I don’t feel that my work here is done and I have been unwilling to give up the fight. But it’s been hard.
I went from doing all kinds of volunteer work with kids every day and working two jobs for me and my son, to being pretty much sentenced to a chair. I have been unable to do much, especially in the past year. The fatigue and pain gets unbearable. I cry over stupid things and wish that this was one big nightmare. But it’s not, it’s real and it doesn’t want to let go.
It’s hard on my family, especially my mom, to see me this way and I fight for all of them. But, what I do now isn’t living, especially when I used to be so active.
I pray all the time and I don’t understand why my prayers haven’t been answered. At first I said, I’ll go through this if it means one person could be helped. I still mean this, but with each passing day it gets harder to say that.
No one in my family has Lupus and I thank God for that every day. I would gladly take the pain for any of them. I spent most of 07 and 08 in the hospital. I was Lifeflighted eight times that year and they nearly lost me twice.
There are no support groups, not that I could get out anyway’s, in my area. I happen to stumbled up on this web site. If I can say one thing is that you can’t give up. You have to find that one thing in life that means everything to you and fight for it. Someday, someway, they will find the right answers to Lupus, and I hope I’m around to see and receive them.