#TellMeAnything: Words That Haunt Me

#TellMeAnything: Words That Haunt Me

“Don’t eat that! That is tones of fat and you don’t need that ice cream right now! I told you no candy, it will get you even fatter!” That’s pretty much what my mother used to tell me ever since I was around the age of 8.

I can still remember the exact things my mom used to say, but back then I was to small to understand. Now, those words haunt me whenever I look in the mirror.

I’m 13 now, and I grew up in a village where no one really cared about their weight, but as I turned 10, I moved into the city and started understanding what my mother had been telling me all those years.

I started regretting all those sweets I ate at night, once my mother went to bed. So, I thought I had to take an end to this (although I was only chubby). I am 1.60 cm(5.4ft) tall and I weigh 49 kilos(100-110 pounds). I cant even remember the last time I weighed that less.

Last summer I weighed 60 kilos. I have been dealing with a lot of eating problems and the main one is BULIMIA.    About a year ago, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I just stopped eating or putting myself on strict diets, but that never really worked out.

One day I was in a Pharmacy and I saw a box saying “loose 9 kilos in one month”! those where some amazing pills which then slowly led me to addiction. I started off taking one a day, just before dinner, but it then slowly turned into five a day, making them my main daily dish.

My mom started getting suspicious about my weight, because nothing in my closet could fit me anymore. So, then I started eating again, but I would go to the bathroom and throw up everything. No one ever knew about my Bulimic problem until last Sunday, as I collapsed on the running track of my school.

I wanted to stop, but I soon started noticing it was too late, because whatever I ate, it always came back up. So, I just let it take over my life. I had no hope that it would end some day.

Day by day, I ended up becoming even weaker. I was unable to concentrate, and my blood pressure shot way up. I was so depressed, that I started cutting myself. I was killing myself more and more on the inside. My parents where to blind to notice, and my once so called “friends” didn’t care, because I was messed up anyway.

Now, I am sitting in a white room with my tray of food laying there since this morning. I just can’t do it, and I really regret ever starting this, because it is impossible for me to ever think, it is possible, that I will ever be able to eat normally again.

If you are also a bulimic victim, stop now before it’s too late, because no one can get rid of this disease except you. Do it for yourself! I know it seems impossible! Believe me I know…

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