In Big Trouble
I am 24 and I think I’m in big trouble. I’ve been forcing myself to puke on a regular basis since middle school.
I think it started around puberty, when all my friends cared so much about how they looked. Now, it’s not so much for weight loss as it is for a feeling of control.
I have acid heartburn every day. My dentist noticed the wear on my teeth. I told him I have reflux.
I’ve thrown up at every place with a bathroom in town. I run the water at my mom’s. My fiance doesn’t have any idea. My cheeks are always puffed and swollen. I grind my teeth at night. I can throw up on command.
I think I’ve got a lot of issues. I’ve had a bad run of things. No one would ever know, by looking at me, that I’ve got years of bulimia and substance abuse under my belt.
Anyways, I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to tell anyone. I don’t want to go to the doctor. I am scared.