Letters to myself: a journey of self-exploration

Waiting for the perfect moment is often a waste of time

Some would even call it another form of procrastination because, well, it is. One of the most painful self-reflections I’ve imposed is realizing all the things I didn’t do because the time just wasn’t right.

There were jobs I didn’t go after because I felt I wasn’t ready. Maybe I wasn’t as prepared as I could have been, but looking back, I understand it was just an excuse. In my twenties, there were men I wouldn’t speak to because I didn’t feel ready for any kind of relationship, as if every man would immediately fall into one with me. When I first started writing, I didn’t allow others to read what I’d written because I wasn’t ready for their critiques. Keeping talents to yourself is no talent at all.

So what was it all about? I was scared. I was afraid of rejection, of getting hurt, of finding out I was no good. Rather than expose myself, I claimed it was never the right time. There was a perfect moment, and THIS wasn’t it. I was only going to put myself out there when I was certain of success. And guess what? That moment never came.

Losing out on jobs, relationships and careers because of fear is a crime, punishable by days, weeks, months and years that you can never get back.

In Dr. Seuss’s Oh, The Places You’ll Go! he speaks of “The Waiting Place”. It’s obvious the characters on those pages are wasting time, waiting “around for a Yes or No”, or “their hair to grow”, or for “wind to fly a kite”, or “a pot to boil, or a Better Break.” Seuss makes it clear that the reader won’t be that person. The reader will rise above and move forward, embracing the unknown, taking chances, trying things because there’s no other way to live.

The first time I read the book, I cried. It was obvious to me I wasn’t living the best life I could live because I’d been waiting so long for the perfect moment that never came. Through self-exploration, some therapy and plenty of joy and pain, I’ve managed to overcome this issue, to a degree. I remind myself that life goes on whether we take part or not. No matter the excuse, the moment is here… and then it’s gone. Whether it’s perfect is not the issue. Whether I seize it or waste it is.

– Althea