Memories of my battle with eating disorders

Memories of my battle with eating disorders

Every Tuesday, Mama shares a personal story. This story was sent to us by an Anonymous person.
***************************************************************************

I am 22 now, and I would like to share my story about my past with eating disorders.

I was a chubby child. My mother took me to a child psychologist when I was only four years old. As I grew older my mother continued to make comments about my weight. Coupled with pressure from the media to be thin, I began my journey with eating disorders.

As I hit puberty, my weight ballooned and I became bulimic at 14. I also felt pressure to be thin because I was drum major of my band and president of several social and academic clubs in my high school.

I grew up in a wealthy family with a live in housekeeper. I always found ways to hide my bulimia from her.

I was only bulimic for two years before I realized I wasn’t losing weight and my health was declining.

At 16, my mother bought me Metabolife. (Yes, that was when ephedra was legal). Metabolife was the catalyst that started my life-long battle with bipolar disorder. I became manic and ate nothing but a snickers bar each day.

I am 5’6″ and I got pretty skeletal. When I was diagnosed, I was put on Lithium, which made me gain 60 lbs.

I moved to NYC for college at a prestigious fashion school and became manic and suicidal at the same time.

I was so mentally unstable that I got into a situation where I was slipped a date rape drug and nearly died. I woke up convulsing in St. Vincent’s emergency room, the main trauma center for 911.

Four years have passed and I am now stable and on medication. I am a healthy and muscular size 0 and food no longer rules my life.

I am an entrepreneur in the fashion industry, and even though I have reached my ideal image and have a healthy level of self-confidence, memories of my battle with eating disorders are never far from my mind.

– Anonymous

Comments

8 Responses to “Memories of my battle with eating disorders”
  1. Anonymous says:

    I am so glad you are doing good, I am 27 years old and I was bulimic because my sister used to make fun of me, because I was chubby,I was bulimic for four years
    and now I am not bulimic any more but I have to many dental problems that I wish I can fix, and I can’t because is to expensive, but I am glad you are doin good.

  2. Shay says:

    Great inspiring story, good for you all….

  3. annonomus says:

    I AM 45 YEARS OLD..I WENT TO ALL GIRLS HIGH SCHOOL FOR 2 YEARS ..THEN CHANGED TO PUBLIC CO ED…I WAS THE BIGGEST ATTRACTION THERE ..BUT WITH NO CONFIDENCE IN ME …I WENT FROM 130LB. TO 98LB..IN NO TIME AT ALL..I WAS DATED MY THE HOTTEST BOY AT THE TIME .THE REAL TRIGGER FOR THE BULIMIC AND ANOREXIC LIFESTYLE WAS MY ELDER BR..CALLED MY SADDLE BAG HIPS…I REALLY BELIEVED HIM..WHEN I WENT TO PSYCHIATRIST..MY DISTORTION OF MY IMAGE ..WAS SO FAR BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION..I WOULD SEE MY FRAILE BODY OF 98LB TO BE LIKE ONE OF 170 LB..
    FORTUNATLY I MEET SOME PEOPLE THAT HELPED ME PASS THIS…TIME ..BUT IT IS STILL WITH ME ..ANY ONE IN THIS SITUATION REALLY SHOULD KNOW THAT WE PEOPLE ARE CRUEL AND WE MUST HAVE CONFIDENCE IN OUR SELVES…AND ENJOY OUR LIFE

  4. Concerned says:

    I know from my own medical problems and my sisters Ed that 5’6, size zero in the fashion industry doesn’t sound like everythings ok. You can’t come from that kind of pain and be ” fixed” – it’s a lifetime struggle that I’m all too close and familiar with. Recovery is EVERY day, and people are here to help. I just know the he’ll my body went through when my stomach problems brought me to 93 pounds dripping wet, and I don’t want the pressure to think that a size zero is perfect or pretty hurt you like it did my sister. Good luck, and god bless you….

  5. Monica says:

    l too well know the pain,confusion of being out of control with my mind, eating and body problems…l was around 20yrs old and l was in an abusive relationship at the time and l got Glandular fevour and kept vomiting fryed foods(hot chips)as part of the viral side affects of Glandular Fevour..(so l thought)…then l found by eating potatoe chips bag after bag,l could vomit it up and control my weight…l remember my friends telling me to stop and be careful as it will take over me and l wont be able to stop…well near anerexia from not eating much over a 4 mth period and yo-yo vomiting l now am 42yrs old and wished l could have stopped!(believe me ive tryed,councelling) didnt work…just had heart condition ..scared me so much that l havent been sick after meals and l want to get better if its not to late…mind control can work but its 24hrs a day!! l think its all about deep pain,no ability to contol things around me so bulimia was supposed to be my friend, not my controller and enemy…l feel this heart problem had to happen for me to stop my distructive path with myself not being good enough and obviously l have low self asteem,even though friends and work friends say lm so happy and always smilling and confident…only immediate family and close friends know of my eating disorter..why is it so embarrasing and kept a secret,l wish i could go on t.v in newspapers or write colums in newspapers to educate the public about eating disorders that we are very bright,intelligent people and teach awareness…ive realized we only get one chance at life and l want to love myself and look after myself and be healthy no matter what weight l become as long as its in the healthy weight range, forward and up!…l have a lovelly,supportive and patient husband and im lucky…l hope its all not too late thats all….love to all out there battling these disorders…hope l have helped in some way…xxx

  6. terrt says:

    well im a 29 year old male who has struggled with my weight for years since aged 14 i had bulimia and then that developed into anorexia i was in and out of hospital and specialised units you never get over eating disorders the demons are with you every single hour of every single day….

  7. CC says:

    It sounds like you still have an eating disorder…. I am now in recovery and am a healthy weight, which does not consisit of a size 0, thats what I was when I was anorexic.

  8. Julia says:

    p.s.

    It was NOT YOUR FAULT that you were slipped the date rape drug… how ever you were feeling, where you were in your struggle is besides the fact.

    The only one responsible for you ending up nearly dying that time was the freak that slipped you the drug. I am so sorry that you had to go through that horrible situation on top of all that you were dealing with!

    Take care.