Excuse me while I do a little dance.

Does this mean I’m ready to date? How do single parents do it? Do they sneak in the “friend with benefits” after hours and lock the bedroom door? Or do they only date when the child is at the home of the other custodial parent? What happens if (gasp!) the child walks in and…. You fill in the rest.

Thoughts of celibacy are spinning in my head.

Which brings me back to the bedroom.

Yes I’m a parent, but I’m still a person too. I’ve spent a year with the “tap turned off” if you know what I mean, I’d like to go out on a date.

New bedroom and it’s time to turn the “tap” back on.

Other single parents please chime in, but here’s what I think:

Be discreet, not everyone needs to know you’re dating or turning on the “tap.”
Put a lock on the bedroom door. Train the kids that your room is your private space.
No need to introduce everyone you date, to your kids. Not everyone loves a parade.

- Aunt B

Friendships have been made and lost over food. I still remember the time I thanked a ‘distant-relative’ by taking her out for lunch. She did the unthinkable and ordered soup, salad, a martini, a lobster dinner (market priced) and dessert. I was a mere college sophomore and could barely feed myself, let alone pay for a seafood feast. Needless to say, she doesn’t get much love around the holidays.

Today, one of my biggest obsessions is Carrot, Apple, Beet juice from the Whole Foods Juice Bar. I know, it sounds awful. Who in their right mind would want to drink carrot, apple, beet juice? Me. It is actually quite tasty. Oh, and the health benefits are amazing. It is an energy booster, colon cleanser, and immunity booster all rolled in one.

What is your addiction?

- Mama

I’m a 38 year old single mom with a 17 year old son. I was diagnosed with Lupus 15 years ago and have had it come and go in and out of remission.

About six years ago it came out with a vengeance. We have tried every known medication, treatment, chemo all to no avail. Now my only hope is that a stem cell transplant will work, or that God will come and heal me. I don’t feel that my work here is done and I have been unwilling to give up the fight. But it’s been hard.

I went from doing all kinds of volunteer work with kids every day and working two jobs for me and my son, to being pretty much sentenced to a chair. I have been unable to do much, especially in the past year. The fatigue and pain gets unbearable. I cry over stupid things and wish that this was one big nightmare. But it’s not, it’s real and it doesn’t want to let go.

It’s hard on my family, especially my mom, to see me this way and I fight for all of them. But, what I do now isn’t living, especially when I used to be so active.

I pray all the time and I don’t understand why my prayers haven’t been answered. At first I said, I’ll go through this if it means one person could be helped. I still mean this, but with each passing day it gets harder to say that.

No one in my family has Lupus and I thank God for that every day. I would gladly take the pain for any of them. I spent most of 07 and 08 in the hospital. I was Lifeflighted eight times that year and they nearly lost me twice.

There are no support groups, not that I could get out anyway’s, in my area. I happen to stumbled up on this web site. If I can say one thing is that you can’t give up. You have to find that one thing in life that means everything to you and fight for it. Someday, someway, they will find the right answers to Lupus, and I hope I’m around to see and receive them.

- Anonymous

Trees for the Future is based in Silver Springs, Maryland. Trees for the Future has worked to develop sustainable agroforestry programs in developing countries around the world since 1989. They work directly with communities and plant specific trees that meet the needs of the community. In 2007, over 9 million trees were planted by Trees for the Future and they hope to plan 250 million in 2009.

To find out more, plant your own trees, or get involved via volunteering, check them out online at Trees for the Future. Or, become a fan of MamasHealth on Facebook and we’ll plant a tree for you.

- Mama

“I always meant to take up knitting,” she said. “But you know how it goes!”

I do. Over the years, I’ve given away boxes of scrapbooking supplies, a pasta maker, three different sets of workout equipment and a cake decorating kit that never even made it out of its plastic wrapping. I’m usually pretty good about not buying things that I don’t need, but every once in a while I succumb to the lure of something that seems irresistible. Surely, if I just have a set of hand weights I’ll work out every day or not.

And that’s why I love Freecycle. It gives those dusty dumbbells and unopened pasta kits a chance at a home where they will be welcomed and used. Basically, Freecycle is a site where people can post their unwanted stuff for other people to check out. It’s divided into a bunch of local sites so you¹re regularly alerted to freebies in your neighborhood.

It’s also a great resource for shopping without spending a cent. In addition to this week’s haul of yarn, I’ve scored a ton of great things from Freecycle. I got my first set of canning jars (and a lot of friendly advice) from a Freecycle post. My daughter’s desk was a Freecycle find that we cleaned up and painted. But even better, I’ve given away a ton of stuff on
Freecycle that might otherwise have ended up in a landfill or as permanent clutter in our house.

Now I’m sorting through a box of yarn, delighted to find a hank of perfect pink for Annie’s new winter hat. At the bottom of the box is a pile of old quilting magazines, something I always thought would be fun to get into.

You know how it goes!

- Lucy

How to avoid a medical mix-up:

• My daughter is a Tween
• I’m a single-mom with (according to this calculator) a 30% chance of getting married again.
• I don’t want any more children.

Sterilize me. Please.

“Why would you want to do that?” The doctor sitting in front of me was an older man; his white hair seemed to float in wisps around his head. I repeated the facts; perhaps he was hard of hearing.

There are two procedures for women who no longer desire to have children, tubal ligation, which was first done in 1930 and Essure, a new procedure that’s been around since 2002. Of course the doc pushed the newer procedure. Instead of getting the go-ahead and a date for the surgery, I went home to do research.

The Essure sterilization procedure is done in a doctor’s office and there is no cutting. Inserts are placed within the fallopian tubes, tissue grows around the inserts and sterilization is achieved after about three months.

Tubal ligation is currently done under some form of anesthesia (though that may be changing) and the fallopian tubes are cut, cauterized (burned), or silicone rings are placed around them so that eggs are unable to pass through.

If you’ve thought about a permanent method of birth control, I encourage you do the research. Decide what is right for your body and for your lifestyle. Don’t let anyone; especially those in the white coats make this kind of decision for you.

I’ve made up my mind.

- Aunt B

But you know what? When this happened to me last week, going to the store didn’t even occur to me. I was halfway through spooning out cookies onto a baking sheet before I even thought of the shopping alternative. For me, it was a turning point, a moment where I realized that I’d actually escaped in a small way from rampant consumerism.

Buying is easier than making, for sure. And buying is fun, if you don’t think so, just go roam the sales aisles at Target. But buying stuff, especially when you’ve already got a house full of stuff, can be a problem when you’re aiming to green up your life.

It’s taken me a good five years to get to the point where I don’t automatically grab my debit card to respond to a problem, but I’ve inched my way toward buying less. Instead of running to the store to stock up on socks, I keep a mending basket by the couch and do a little old-fashioned darning in the evenings. Instead of heading to the store when we run out of Pirate’s Booty, I bake cheese straws with the kids. Instead of buying a fancy new centerpiece for a dinner party, I experiment with different recycled jars. Every time I am tempted to hit the store, I ask myself “What would I do if I couldn’t shop?”

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with buying things now and then. In fact, I find that now that I’m buying less stuff, I’m much more excited when I do buy something. My children are more appreciative of new toys than their
friends who get a new toy every week. And I remember how much I like all the stuff I already own when I force myself to use it instead of something new.

Though I’m seriously considering stocking the freezer with cookie dough for last-minute bake sale emergencies.

- Lucy

Gymnastics was my life since I was a kid. I did the sport for over 15 years on top of volleyball, track, and cross country. I even went on to coaching gymnastics in my later years.

Ever since I can remember, I always thought that I was fat. Probably since the age of 6, right before my closest sibling died.

I also thought I was ugly, since I was not the standard blond hair, blue eyed girl, like all of my class mates. I even had a really unique name which made me feel even more out of place.

Probably, the main reason I felt I was so different is because I started to develop before all of the other girls. Don’t get me wrong, I was still a skinny kid but with big boobs.

I began starving myself in the fourth grade. It got so bad I wouldn’t eat for weeks at a time and I would continue to go to gymnastics practice as usual. If I did eat it would only be half of an apple wedge or 2 gummy bears. I remember fainting regularly or getting really shaky and dizzy but my parents never seemed to notice. If I couldn’t hide not eating, I would throw up. Then that became too easy.

It started to feel too good. I could work out in gymnastics every day, then go and eat as much as I wanted, then just puke it all up. This lead to many other bad decisions such as horrible boyfriends and extreme drug using. I eventually got hooked onto crystal meth for about three years and I still thought that I was fat! About 90 pounds later I decided that I was done with it all. I quit the drugs, quit the eating disorder, and just tried to live a normal life.

That took me about 8 years to settle down and become normal again. I am now at a regular weight, even though I feel like a heifer, I would rather be thicker than on drugs, having an eating disorders, or even worse dead! I am now 130 pounds and I am eating healthy again. I have started on a regular work out schedule.

- Anonymous

Halloween parade? You’re there. Soccer game, softball, track team, you’re front row cheering them on. You’re the snack person or the Team Parent when called upon, and you put in your volunteer hours just like the rest of the two-parent households.

Holidays? You make ‘em look like a Norman Rockwell painting. You’re Santa and the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and everyone else in between. You make it happen.

You cover the basics too, hot water and lights, shoes, undies and clean clothes. You know their friends, their favorite TV shows and whom they listen to on the radio. You know that love and discipline go hand in hand. You talk to them, but more importantly, you know how to listen.

You know that what’s more important than Wii’s and the iTouch, DS and designer shoes is that you show up. What you do best, is that you let them know that family is important even when it more Kardashian than Rockwell.

You spend a lot of time wondering if you’re getting it right.

Yes, you are.

- Aunt B

When I received my smoothie, the first thing I thought was “Wow, the recession is affecting Jamba Juice too.” My 12 ounce smoothie looked more like an 8 ounce smoothie (child’s size right?). I was extremely disappointed. Next time I want a smoothie, I’ll probably make my own.

Here’s a picture of what they gave me:

Half glass of Chunky Strawberry Jamba Juice Smoothie

- Mama

So I decided to try to do one green thing each week instead. It didn’t matter is it was something small like setting aside a separate trash bin for plastic recyclables or making my own laundry detergent or something bigger, like replacing our toilet with a low-flow model. I committed to changing one thing about my life for the greener every week and it worked. One change I could handle, and before I knew it, I’d turned into the eco-living Mama I’d wanted to become.

Here are some little changes that can make a big difference. Try one on your next supermarket run, and see if you don’t feel a little bit greener.

• Bring your own bags. Everybody from Kroger to Trader Joe’s sells their
  own version of a canvas grocery tote, but the only way reusable bags work is if you actually use them. I keep a stash in the back of the car at all times so that I have no excuse to bring home a new bag.
• Don’t buy individually packaged items. Buy the biggest package or container you can, and divide it up into smaller portions at home using your own reusable containers. The reason? You want to avoid unnecessary packaging waste.
• Stop buying paper towels and paper napkins. Use the real thing
  instead, and you can throw them in the wash instead of throwing them away.
• Start recycling. You can start with one thing ‹ say, aluminum cans or
  glass jars. Set up a recycling bin, and make a point of recycling that particular item every time you use it. Once you’ve gotten in the habit of recycling one item, it¹s easier to get into the habit of recycling other things, too.

- Lucy

Timber and Bella get along very well. They chase each other in the yard, share toys, and play tug of war. They even drink from the same water bowl at the same time. Belle, my disobedient little girl is so cute, she likes to move her butt from side to side while drinking water. She also likes to leave a trail of water behind so everyone knows that she has quenched her thirst.

Every once in a while, Timber doesn’t want to play with Bella. When she tries to get him to play, he growls soflty and she leaves him alone.

I wished the ‘growl’ technique worked with other humans…

- Mama