Do you ALWAYS ask, “Did you make that with meat?” Do you go home after a big family dinner and chow down on a salad?

Does being a vegetarian mean that your friends change too? Do you stop hanging around the carnivores because dinners are awkward? You’re always asking how something was cooked and they’re always rolling their eyes to the ceiling and reciting a list. Never mind the crossed fingers behind their back, and the tiny white lie they might tell, just because they want you to sit down and eat.

I have to admit that this Thanksgiving we went uhm… “whole hog.” I looked at the Tofurky and meat alternatives but they just didn’t seem appealing. Then I thought about a Thanksgiving dinner with the “sides” and while that seemed easier. I just caved.

I think what keeps me from crossing over, from “drinking the vegetarian Kool-aid” is that I don’t know what to do with holidays and traditions that include meat, especially around the holidays.

That’s called being a “flexitarian” right?

Oh yeah, Little Peta, my daughter is protesting, and has been since I brought the turkey into the house.

- Serena

Cue the scary music complete with a circle of children teasing laughter and finger pointing. We’re talking about her day at school and when she mentions this, I take a deep breath and keep my voice calm.

“What do you mean, no one plays with you?” My daughter is the only one (insert whichever race/religion/orientation you want, because does it really matter?) in her class and so far (we’re in third grade) things have been great.

“What do you do during lunchtime sweetheart?”

“Walk around by myself.”

She’s such a Chatty Cathy; I can’t imagine her flying solo at lunch.

“Why do you think no one is playing with you?”

“Well Jennifer told them not to talk to me and now they don’t. So after I eat lunch, I just walk around.”

My brain is sizzling now. Jennifer is the class diva, fortunately in the short eight years of her life she has mastered ‘how to win friends and influence people’ and unfortunately she doesn’t use her powers for good.

My Mama Lion instinct is to walk up to that little girl and give her a thing to two to think about. Or maybe call her mom. Tell the teacher? I’m not prepared for this.

What do the experts say if this is happening to your kid? Have them join a club, make different friends. And that leaving someone out of the “group” is a common form of bullying.

And about Jennifer? I’m going to have a chat… with the teacher.

- Serena

Little Peta (that’s what I call my daughter) stomps into the kitchen. I’m preparing her lunch and she’s upset. So even though it’s morning and lunches have to be made (we’re on a budget, just like everyone else) and breakfast has to be poured, shaken, or blended Little Peta wants to talk.

“Why can’t we have regular lunches like everyone else? Why can’t I eat in the cafeteria? Why can’t I just have a bag of chips?

I look at my daughter who has taken to this vegetarian thing like err… a fish to water? “You wanted this,” I say as I spoon pasta salad into her thermos. “You wanted to bring vegetarian lunches, what’s the problem?”

“I want regular Cheez-its, not that organic kind and I want cookies that come in a bag, and I want to bring a Lunchable.”

I look at my now eight-year-old daughter and see the seeds of teen-dom, the ‘I just want to be like everyone else’ syndrome.

So what’s a mom to do? Do I not trust my daughter to make the right food choices? Moderation is key? Is there a slippery slope of junk food?

“Lunchables are full of sodium and meat,” I tell her. Hoping that she will change her mind.

“Not all of them.” She spins on her heels and walks out of the kitchen, and I pick up a pencil and put “Lunchable” on the grocery list.

I did say that we were “flexitarians” right?

- Serena

According to The Scottish Sun Newspaper, vegetarian teenager Robyn Cairney received a pig’s heart valve. Cairney became ill during a mile run at the gym in which she lost her breath and couldn’t stop coughing. She was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a heart valve condition that allowed blood to flow back into her heart. When the doctors told her she would have to have the valve replaced with a valve from a pig’s heart, Cairney said, “It was a bit of a shock being a vegetarian, but I realized it was a life or death choice.”

As a wanna-be vegetarian I wouldn’t think twice about accepting a pig valve, I don’t think I would blink twice if I were a full fledge vegetarian either. But I can’t help but wonder how far do we take animal rights? And for those of you who don’t eat any meat products and advocate for animal rights, would you say no to a pig’s heart valve? When it comes to life, the question becomes who’s life is more important? Doesn’t it?

What would a vegan do?

- Serena

I spring it on my family as they walk through the door from soccer practice.

“We’re flexitarians!”

“We’re what?” Little Peta, that’s what I call my daughter says, “I’m hungry.”

“We’re flexitarians.” I say it again.

“Is that some new program Obama thought up?”

“We’re Americans Mom, ever since Columbus in 1492, everybody knows that.” Little Peta offers while peeling off her soccer gear.

My son looks at me as if he wishes I’d turn into a steak. He doesn’t even bother to answer; he just shakes his head and heads towards the shower.

My husband rolls his eyes. He hates for me to spring anything new on him in front of the kids, he prefers we always present a united front.

“Just tell us what you’re talking about Serena, What? Are we going to start doing yoga now?” My husband looks as if I better stop playing and start explaining.

“It means that we are mostly vegetarian, but occasionally we eat meat, and that we’re not into all that marching for animal rights stuff.”

“I like animals and I’m not going to eat them. I’m a vegetarian!” Little Peta is emphatic.

“Flexitarian huh? Did you just make that up today?” Dear Hubby finally sits down. “As long as I don’t have to do yoga. And what’s wrong with the animal rights stuff? ”

Arrgh!

- Serena

“What Have You Done For Me Lately?” – Yes meat, what have you done for me lately? Eating red meat increases a person’s chances of developing certain cancers and heart disease. Two things I never want to hear from my doctor.

“Control” – Is what I need to get through this. I’m not trying to save every animal on the planet; I’m trying to live a little longer than expected. Or in the words of Miss Jackson, “Don’t wanna rule the world, just wanna run my life.”

“The Pleasure Principle” – The hardest part for me is realizing how much of my life is centered on food. Easter ham, Thanksgiving turkey, gumbo at Christmas time made by my favorite aunt, not to mention the bbq’s, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

“Miss You Much” – I think this title says it all.

“That’s The Way Love Goes”—To have anything worth having, and that includes good health, usually means that one has to learn moderation and discipline. While I love my In ‘N Out burgers, I love my family and myself more. That’s the real way love goes.

“You Want This” – Why yes, Ms. Jackson I do. I’m willing to make the sacrifices to have health too.

“Any Time Any Place” – I’m learning that I can find a vegetarian option.

“All For You” – This is for me, it will be gift to my children and hopefully for their children too, to be conscious about what goes into their body. We only get one.

- Serena

Well Kelly let’s get right to the meat of the matter.

In the meat-eating world, eggs are the cheapest form of protein that you can find.

The egg came first, the leathery reptilian egg allowed us to breed out of the water, as we continued to evolve, the chicken as we know it is only about 4-5 thousand years old, according to “On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen.”

From ovulation to laying it takes about 25 hours for a hen to lay a single egg, which do in time turn into chickens or yard birds depending on what part of the country you’re from. What I’m trying to give up.

Finally, I think eggs are at their tastiest when they are scrambled; I also like them fried, and deviled and the occasional quiche.

And at $3 – $6 per dozen for the organic ones, I also think they are expensive. So Kelly, that’s what I think eggs are.

“Vegetarian means NO animals.” Kelly emphatically writes.

Does it Kelly? I was under the impression that there were lacto-ovo vegetarians, you know the ones that eat cheese and eggs. I also know about pescatarians, the ones that eat only fish. Honey I’m a carnivore and I’m in the process of giving up meat (as much as I love it) for my health and the health of my family.

Vegetarian in my book is preceded by “Wanna-Be.” If there was a drumbeat that we are all supposed to be marching too, I’m sorry, it was drowned out by all of that clucking.

- Serena

That’s what I see in the grocery store. I’m a regular woman who shops at regular stores and Farmer’s Markets. The Farmer’s Market because the fruit looks like what I used to pick off my grandmother’s tree, or from the neighbor’s tree when they let us. Lemons, plums, limes, kumquats and loquats, tart granny apples, we’d dust the spider web and bugs off and sit on the ground, spitting seeds everywhere, plumped up with fruit as if we were kings and queens.

Boca was the first brand I tried. It had an okay mouth feel, chewy enough. My family likes the Masala burger from Trader Joe’s. Which really isn’t a burger, but a potato/vegetable patty that we slather with spicy hummus and put between leaves of Romaine lettuce. Little Peta, that’s what I’ll call my darling daughter, loves them. As she loves to announce, “No animals were killed in the making of this sandwich!” Where is the off switch?

Boca burgers are what we took to our cousin’s Labor Day BBQ.

“I’m not cleaning the grill off. If you want me to grill ‘em you have to just put them on the grill where every thing else has been.”

My cousin takes his grill seriously.

“No big deal,” I said and opened the packets and placed them on the grill.

“If that’s what you wanna eat.” He touched the corner of the spatula to the edge of the patty. “It looks fake to me.” His mouth is turned down as he touches the other sizzling patties with the same spatula.

“That’s the point,” I said. “I’m cutting back on red meat.”

“It’s just one day, it won’t kill you to eat a real burger one day.”

“That’s not the point, and this is a real burger.”

I should’ve picked up the fake ribs.

- Serena

So imagine my surprise as I’m running errands and see Mr. This-is-so-easy-I-could-do-it-seven-days-a-week-standing-on-my-head standing in front of Meaty Meat Ribs and Bar-be-que chomping on a beef rib with this buddies. Mmm-hmmm. I slowed my car and tooted the horn and made a “peace” sign and pointed to my eyes and then at him. I mouthed the words, “I see you.”

I’m not the only one falling off the wagon.

“I just don’t feel full,” he said when we finally talked about it.

“Organic food tastes like it has bird poop in it.”

At this point the only one that has stayed true is my daughter, the burgeoning PETA member, unless she has a deal with the Hamburglar.

So do I dive into the fake beef products to transition my family over? I look at the Boca products (burgers, sausage) and the Morning Star products (‘meat’ crumbles to nuggets). How healthy are they? Are they worth the extra cost? To be honest they’re pretty expensive, be it what it may, but the cow is cheaper. Not only is it expensive, I’ve found that trying to eat healthy, means I’m in the kitchen a lot more.

I did find this that I’ll talk to my family about. Since they can’t stay away from fast food, let’s talk about what our options are. Right?

- Serena

“They have so much potential.”

“I know, people change slowly I accept that. Lacto-ovo vegetarians are so close, but I can’t see myself going to go around telling people that eating honey is as just as unethical is eating fish.”

“It’s a case for animal rights. If lacto-ovo vegetarians feel ashamed when you tell them this, they should be.”

“The movement isn’t about animal welfare, it’s about animal rights and we have no right to use animals anyway we please. This isn’t about being nice. It’s about saying what we believe in.”

* * *

Yikes! What had I stumbled onto? What was coming next? A planning session on re-routing the beef patty trucks away from In N’ Out?

Really I got into this for the health benefits, not because I’m ready to parade and shout for animal rights. I’ve said this before; the pictures are horrible, the way the animals are treated is really sad. However, as long as I’m not involved in the process, I can look at myself in the mirror and be okay.

* * *

“In no other social justice movement do you tell someone it’s okay to have a little sexism or a little racism. You want the ‘ism’ gone. It’s the same argument with lacto-ovo vegetarians, you can’t pat them on the head and say it’s great how they’ve changed their life when they are still supporting the system!”

“That makes you sound like an elitist.”

“Well then that’s just too bad.”

* * *

Yeah… I was going to ask one of them about vegetarianism, but because I am of the lacto-ovo variety and still might have a whiff of burger on my breath, I decided that perhaps this wasn’t the right time.

- Serena

Since the “In ‘N Out cheeseburger” incident I can’t shake this feeling of failure. I think I got into this for the right reasons. I’m concerned about my family’s health and the health of the planet. Since my confession, my oldest also confessed to eating meat “every time he left the house.” This is to be expected right? Yes?

I’ve been thinking about what Dangel wrote in the comments section earlier this month:

“I can’t agree that cutting out meat all together to live a life of supplements is a way to ‘eat healthier’.

I fully encourage being more conscious about the food you eat but do remember, humans are carnivores. The moment you take something out of your diet, something we evolved eating, is the moment you throw your digestive system into a pattern that it’s not familiar or best suited for. Our brain can easily adapt with little consequence, our bodies are not so gifted.

Showing restraint over the food you eat is mentally and physically strengthening. Rejecting a whole section of your diet may make you feel stronger mentally but just because you can’t see what it’s doing to you on the inside doesn’t mean all is well.”

This part especially rang true, “Rejecting a whole section of your diet may make you feel stronger mentally…”

It did. I loved telling people that I was a vegetarian, even though I am still in the process of cutting meat out of my diet. I felt stronger… and dare I say it? I felt better than them, the inklings of the “holier-than-thou” attitude that people seem to hate about vegetarians.

Nothing like a slip-up to bring you right back down to earth.

- Serena

Maybe it hasn’t been long enough for me, but the meat was good.

Yes I’ve seen the pictures of crowded cages and sick cows and yes, I feel for the animals that are being tortured and killed and end up slathered with Thousand Island dressing between a sesame seed bun. Yes I know the way we are eating is hurting the planet.

My craving made me wonder if we really are meant to eat meat or not?

If it’s so natural to eat this way, and I do believe it’s a healthier way to live, why is there a such a big market for “fake meat” products?

I’m frustrated.

The cow has barely walked out the door and I didn’t have the willpower to say no. Not to mention that the chicken, turkey and fish are still hanging around. My husband and son pooh-poohed my dinnertime confession. My daughter chastised me something fierce. I think she might turn into a PETA member.

I guess I want to feel that repulsion toward meat. Honestly folks, I don’t. Is that when I become a true vegetarian?

- Serena

I’ll just order the fries, I tell myself as I turned the car into the drive through. There’s been less fast food since we started this trek to vegetarianism. My car snaked through the line and I made it to the speaker and the menu.

They have pictures of the food right there and even though I’m just there for the fries, the burger with the onion and tomato and the American cheese curling around the beef patty just so is staring at me. “Think of the cows, their big eyes, their soft moo!” How could I resist advertising like that? Think about your cholesterol!

“Would you like grilled onions?” The server asked.

Minutes later I was sitting in the parking lot with a cheeseburger with grilled onions in my mouth. It was a perfect burger, the sweetness of the spread against the salty savory of the meat, the crunch of the hand leafed lettuce, the soft bun. Ever bite was delightful.

I dipped my fries into the ketchup, undid my burger and layered them between the tomato and the cheese while feeling a twinge of guilt.

That was the best damn burger I ever had! Am I a hypocrite?

My name is Serena, and I’m a carnivore.

No more ham and cheese sandwiches.

Now that we are eating less meat, I tend to read labels more. Also, (and I don’t know how this happened) we’ve become a lot more aware of waste, be it water, electricity or gas. While my son was washing dishes, my daughter came into the kitchen and opened the blinds and turned off the lights.

“There, natural light, no electricity.” She flounced out of the room while I wondered what pod person had replaced her. She’s become our resident environmentalist.

Some green things I’ve found for back to school:

1. Reusable lunch box or bag – she’s requested a laptop lunchbox
2. Reusable plastic baggies – I’ve been washing and reusing, but you can put these in the dishwasher
3. Stainless steel drink container

For veggie lunch ideas I found some great ideas at this website.

Lastly, I’d like to say thanks to all of you who have written to encourage us on this journey. I’ve gotten some really good advice and great ideas about products to try.

Right now we’ve fallen in love with Vegetable Masala Burgers from Trader Joe’s with spicy hummus between leaves of romaine lettuce! Can you believe it? It’s not burger in the traditional sense, but it is oh so yummy.

Keep those suggestions coming!

- Serena

We decided that we would try the original varieties and not those flavored with vanilla or chocolate, and chose Soy Dream, Rice Dream and Pacific Organic Almond milk. All three varieties came in aseptic packaging, those cardboard boxes that need no refrigeration. I have to say that I liked the idea of being able to buy those cartons and keep them in the pantry

As the bacon protest continued this past Sunday morning, over pancakes and turkey sausage (we’re still eating poultry) I presented my family with a taste test. 

The Soy Dream was first.

The seven-year-old:  Spit it back out almost as fast as it went it.

The fourteen-year-old: Stuck out his tongue and said, “No way.”

The Hubby:  Gave a thumbs down and claimed the taste was something akin to what his mother kept in a can on the stove when he was a kid. I’m interpreting that as old cooking grease.

Next came Rice Dream: 

The seven-year-old: “It taste like watery rice.”

The fourteen-year-old: “Not this one either.”

The Hubby:  “It tastes like skim milk, but bitter at the end.”

And finally… Pacific Organic Almond Milk. 

The seven-year-old: Was set on not liking it, and actually refused to taste it at first. As it turns out, we got a smile.

The fourteen-year-old: “Mom, this one is the biz.”  For those of you that don’t speak ‘fourteen’ I understand “the biz” to mean something good.

The Hubby: Thought none of them tasted like milk, but could live with this one if the children liked it. 

So there you have our informal taste test, except for cheese, we have booted the cow out of the door. Chicken… you’re next!

- Serena