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Measuring the Cost of Shower Indulgences
As I stood under the showerhead this morning, contemplating my day and allowing myself a few extra minutes in the warmth and the moisture, I pondered whether I was wasting more water in the shower than I would be if I were to take a bath. I don’t really relish baths since they require that I clean the tub more thoroughly before each use (I’m a stickler for grit-less and hair-free tub experiences), but if that method of washing were to save me water, energy, and therefore money, it might be worth a look.
To my computer I went to find the answer to my query. And I guess the conclusion I came to is that “it depends.”
That’s because in large part, the answer lies in whether my showerhead is efficient or not. Which of course begged the question as to how much water my showerhead actually uses. Here’s how I determined that: holding a bucket under my showerhead, I ran the water for 1 minute, after which I measured the amount of water released into the bucket. It was approximately 2.2 gallons, which is, thankfully, not bad at all. By and large, most new showerheads must now be rated at 2.5 gallons per minute (gpm) or less to be sold to consumers. Of course, less might be better (1 gpm is ideal), but at least I’m not guzzling 4 gpm like some really old fixtures are in the habit of doing.
Back to the debate at hand… If I take a 10 minute shower, I use about 22 gallons of water. Since apparently the average bath requires between 30 and 50 gallons of water, I guess I’m doing better than average on that score.
That said, I think I’d like to improve. I’ve read a few places that shortening your shower time can really help to reduce the amount of water you use, so I think I’ll try one of those cheap shower timers to see if I can shorten the time I spend under the waterfall. And I’ll think about purchasing a more efficient fixture, too.
- Lucy
Letters to myself: Living in the moment
Rumor has it that the only time which actually exists is the present. Is that philosophical? Is that a fact made to discourage me from dissecting the past and dreaming about the future? All I know is that pushing a fat guy through the eye of a needle is often easier for me than living in the moment. That’s not good.
If I start a diet tomorrow, by Christmas I’ll be fitting into my skinny jeans.
Ten years ago, I should have quit that job and gone back to school.
Remember when we used to meet every Saturday and run to the top? I loved those mornings.
I can’t wait until summer.
We all do it. It’s human nature. But I’ve taken up too much valuable time daydreaming, lamenting and evoking better days, when I should be experiencing what’s in front of me. Today is all I have. This moment is IT.
And yet, I’ve often been annoyed at those who advocate a carpe diem approach to life. Surely, it’s important to plan for the future and learn from past mistakes, yes? Yes. But when my husband and I speak of “killing time” with our children at the park instead of being involved in their play, something is wrong. When I’m sitting in a meeting envisioning my future success instead of listening to my boss, chances are there will be no fanciful career. Chances are, I could get fired for not paying attention.
Living in the present moment is not simply the right way to live; it’s the ONLY way to live. How we experience this reality is the issue. Like success in all areas of life, it requires discipline, and reminders. I’ve taken to slapping up mental Post-it notes in my head when I find myself recalling yesterday or anticipating tomorrow.
“Stay here.”
“Listen.”
“Nothing is more important than this.”
“Be involved.”
“Stop. Do this thing.”
“If not now, when?”
“One moment at a time.”
“Feel this. Breathe.”
“This moment is my life.”
“Be aware.”
And, of course, “carpe diem”, because we should all seize the day.
- Althea
“Rape” as a football drill command. We should know better.
Dear Brenda,
My son is 15 years old and during his football practice at our public high school the coach uses the word ”rape” as a command for a drill. The boys will then attack and tackle each other. 
I think this is very unhealthy and that it promotes violence and aggression. This is 2011 and we should know better. The principal thinks that it’s fine.
Help!
Dear Concerned Mom,
Fear of rape is a cold wind blowing ?all of the time on a woman’s hunched back. – Marge Piercy
For a coach to use the word “rape” as a command for a drill in which the young men attack and tackle each other is unacceptable. Not because I think the members of the football team are mindless jocks who will have a Pavlovian response whenever the word is mentioned outside of football practice. It’s because as the Coach conditions their minds and bodies for a game of football, he is also desensitizing these young men to weight this word carries. Rape is an aggressive and violent act. Obviously the Coach is trying to generate a certain level of aggression he believes is necessary to play the game, however, while doing so he is creating an equivalency in their minds that is inappropriate and completely unacceptable.
The principal’s reaction was dismissive. Perhaps he or she is reluctant to address the issue in an honest and forthcoming way because they’re more interested in winning football games. Perhaps he or she is more interested in winning than in using their influence and the influence of the Coach to send a clear message about language, power and sex. The Coach and the Principal have missed a teachable moment and these young men lose because they don’t receive a mature message about the power of language. This happens too often. Adults rationalize unsuitable behaviors, language or treatment of certain groups and the most impressionable members of our society walk away from experiences like this with a certain coarseness, a lack of sensitivity. And while the rates of juvenile sex offenses continue to increase, this Coach and Principal believe that it is okay to not address this seriously.
So what’s a Mom to do? Here’s the deal:
- You are your son’s first role model. Talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel about the Coach using such a loaded word in such a cavalier fashion.
- Tell your son that you are going to take action because you believe it’s wrong. If your son balks at the idea of you taking action, let him know there are other places and leagues he can get his football fix and that this is something you strongly believe in and this is what people do when it is something they believe in, they take a stand.
- Write a letter outlining your concerns and your demands to the school superintendent, and then copy to the members of the school board, the PTA, the school principal and coach, the executive director and the communications director of the local rape crisis center and the local newspaper.
- Request to speak at the next school board meeting. Read your letter. Demand a response.
Good luck.
- Brenda
Mama’s Monday Favorite: Instant Recess
Instant Recess: Building a Fit Nation 10 Minutes at a Time
Instant Recess offers practical, simple, and most importantly, fun ways to incorporate exercise and movement into our daily lives. In Instant Recess, Dr. Yancey carefully weaves poetry, health education, and humor.
Dr. Yancey inspires readers to take mini recesses and engage in dancing, walking, and other fun activities to help us fidget less, sleep well, and look and feel better.
Instant Recess is a must read for everyone. It is the type of book that you will want to buy 10 copies and give them out to everyone you love and care about.
Instant Recess in Action
Is that a wallet in your pocket…?
While I don’t really ever see myself not working, I do, on occasion, entertain the fantasy of being a “kept woman”. I imagine not having to catapult into the day after an over zealous session with the snooze button. I picture myself lacing up my trainers at teatime and going for a leisurely run… why? Because I’ve got nothing better to do.
I hate to admit to being ever so slightly seduced by Richard’s good fortunes. I mean, for our second date the guy offered to treat me to a massage and facial at one of the city’s most expensive spas. Problem was I couldn’t get the (not-so-pretty) picture of him being massaged next to me out of my head.
But I did dare to dream of being plucked out of my high-impact life in order to speed along the highway of love, silk scarf trailing behind, in Richard’s Mercedes Benz SLS convertible. I could see myself eating sushi without a care in the world for the colour of the plates – literally standing at the conveyor belt and flat-handing the stuff into my mouth. Oh, for the good life.
Len had money too, but he was arrogant about it. Or perhaps it was the fact that he pre-empted the date by saying that he wasn’t looking for a relationship – I mean, where do you go from there? He spent the evening boasting about the number of en-suites he’s added to his house in the mountains, where he’s also built a landing strip for his light aircraft. I was quite pleased when he choked on a chilli from a mouthful of my Vindaloo and stayed in the men’s for a while. Talk about bad chemistry.
Conclusion? The problem with my little fantasy, it seems, is that millionaires don’t grow on trees and, when they do crop up, they come with a price tag.
- Single-again Samantha
The biggest loser, doggy style
Pet obesity is one of the biggest health threats to pets in the United States. Of the 77.5 million pet dogs in the United States, an estimated 54 percent of us are overweight or obese, according to a 2010 study conducted by the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention. I was one of those portly pooches but lost weight. Your dog can too.
Even a couple of extra pounds on a dog can be significant. According to Dr. Ernie Ward, the lead researcher on the study, a 90-pound female Labrador retriever is equivalent to a 186-pound 5 foot, 4 inch female and a 12-pound Yorkshire terrier is similar to 223 pounds on the same woman. I weighed over eight pounds before my vet ordered me to lose two pounds. My girth made it difficult for me to walk up hills, was hard on my spindly legs and put me at risk for a multitude of health problems, including kidney disease, various forms of cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis, hyperthyroidism and heart and respiratory disease.
Your furry friend is overweight if it’s difficult to feel his ribs under the fat, if he has a sagging stomach, and if he doesn’t have a waist. Rather than buy an expensive doggie treadmill, it’s more economical to switch to reduced calorie dog food, cut back on the treats, and increase your pooch’s aerobic activity. Walk your dog 30 minutes a day but instead of allowing Fido to stop and sniff every time he wants, walk at a fast pace for a portion of that time. This benefits the dog walker as well.
Treats are often full of sugar and fat and are the main culprit for obesity in canines. Make sure they don’t account for more than five percent of your little pal’s caloric intake. Have the vet gives a paws up before your four-legged friend begins a weight loss exercise program.
- Trevor the dog
Brenda Breaks It Down – Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Doesn’t Apply To Herpes or HPV
Dear Brenda,
I started dating this guy in August of 2009. He was living with his daughter’s mother at the time but told me that they were not together. He spent his birthday with me in August and my birthday was in September so we spent my birthday together too. He gave me a $1000 and told me to by myself something nice and the week after he gave me $500.
We had sex in October and he didn’t want to use a condom. I asked him to, but he insisted that he didn’t like them. I have herpes and couldn’t tell him and I didn’t have an outbreak. After we had sex I talked to him the next day and the day after but then he stopped answering my calls. I automatically assumed I’d given him herpes and that he didn’t want to see or talk to me anymore because he wouldn’t answer or return my calls.
I got an abnormal pap smear in November that was caused by HPV, but they told me to wait six months to see if it will come back normal. I was so hurt that I was worried about giving him herpes and now I’m thinking he gave me HPV.
At the time we had sex, I noticed a bump on his private part and he said it was nothing and I told him that I think it’s HPV and that’s why my pap smear is abnormal and he argued that it was nothing.
So now he comes over and has sex with me and then he doesn’t call or answer his phone for days. When I ask him why he does this to me he says he is busy working.
And now my friends trying to hook me up with other guys because they think I’m being stupid for him.
I am feeling so depressed. What should I do? Please tell me what you think is going on.
Dear Too Hot for Herpes,
I’m just going to give it to as I see it. This might be hard to hear darlin’ with that bruised heart you’re carrying around, but the truth is, he doesn’t love or care about you. And while your friends mean well by trying to “hook” you up with other guys because they think you’re being “stupid” for him, the real deal is that you don’t need to be with anyone right now. Stevie Wonder and the Five Blind Boys of Alabama can see that, and so can I.
What I also see here is that you can’t handle the truth, and I’m talking about the truth about your health. The truth is that you have herpes and HPV darlin’ and that puts you at a greater risk for more serious infections, such as HIV, which in turn means that you must take better care of yourself and you must insist that whomever you have sex with wears a condom. Because all of that feel good that comes with sex is not worth dying over.
Now I’m not going to pretend that I’ve never had unprotected sex, I have. I’ve sat in clinics waiting for test results with my nerves about to jump out of my skin. I have friends with herpes who don’t tell because they’re embarrassed. The truth is that over 60 million Americans have herpes 1 out of every 6 women and 1 out of every 8 men. There’s still a lot of embarrassment about it, though there needn’t be. It’s not a death sentence; it’s a ‘be more careful’ sentence.
I also know that men will throw money at a woman, or things like purses or jewelry in order to get them in bed. They will tell you they love you, they’ll tell you whatever you want to hear. Don’t fall for the okey doke. You don’t have to accept gifts (Uh oh, I hear a pack of women howling that I’m wrong about this one) especially when the gifts are over the top. A $1000 (if that’s true) after just meeting someone is a bit over the top. Honestly. Men who do that have usually have nothing else to offer and they just want to get in your pants. Don’t fall for the okey doke.
What I think is going on is that you want a relationship with someone. Not just sex. You keep working it backwards by jumping into the most intimate part first without getting to know them or letting them get to know you. Relate to them out of the bedroom. Give them time to show you who they are, and pay attention. Put on the big girl panties and have an honest talk with them about herpes and HPV. Know your worth, you’re worth more $1500, your life is worth more than that.
- Brenda
