The Fat Activist Weighs In!
We received this comment about the post, “When Your Child Is Fat.”
Her comment:
Hi Aunt B,
I’m a new reader that just happened to find my way to your site. I’m also a fat activist that was drawn to your title “When Your Child is Fat.” I appreciate the healthy suggestions that you’ve left, but I would go so far as to say EVERYONE should be practicing those eating habits. Heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure have all been wrongly directly connected to being fat. I understand that some people have both, they eat larger amounts of unhealthy food and their body grows along with their bad health. But what about folks that are naturally fatter and eat well and exercise? What about children that are skinny due to their metabolism and yet eat junk food and are sedentary.
The world’s hatred against fat is more unhealthy than all the fat people combined. It’s again, an oversimplification of the great complex beings that we are. Love your children and support them, it’s not easy being a fat child (or adult) but if you begin at an early age, they can learn to love their selves and their bodies and make their health choices based off of those good feelings instead of shame and embarrassment about their weight.
Thanks for your information and for caring about the health and well being of today’s young people. Keep up the good work.
Dear Fat Activist,
Your enthusiastic flag waving is misplaced. There was nothing in this post that suggested or implied anything “severe” about being overweight or obese. The emphasis was on health, and the perspective is from a Mom, looking for creative ways to model a moderate lifestyle for her daughter. And yes, hypertension, diabetes and heart disease does happen to people that are not overweight, however, excess weight does aggravate and increase the risk for these diseases. They are not “wrongly connected to being fat,” nor is it an “oversimplification.”
I live in the land of silicone and honey (a large city on the west coast) where the pressure to be stick thin is everywhere. Gyms are as plentiful as artificial boobs. 10-year-olds worry about the size of their thighs. To infer that I condone the insanity of never-ending diets and the madness of trying to reach a photo shopped aesthetic is ludicrous.
One hundred and ten pounds and eight years ago, I suffered from diabetes, high-blood pressure and PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I took medication and injected insulin daily. I was still in my thirties. I wasn’t really living. I was eating and slowly dying. Was I exercising? Yes. Did my weight contribute to my health problems? Hell yes! I was using food as a drug.
Even after the weight loss, at 150 lbs. I’m considered overweight by my doctor and have chosen not to lose any more weight. Instead I eat everything I want in moderation and try to exercise regularly. I’d choose my curvy 150lb body vs. my unhealthy 260lb. body any day of the week, with all the fat acceptance flags waving, fat characters on television and even our fat Oscar winner the adorable Gabourey Sidibe.
I no longer take hypertension meds, inject insulin and I no longer have PCOS. And that’s because I lost the weight.
There’s nothing “quick” or “revolutionary” about your take on fat in connection to this post, so take your well meaning fat flag and fly it elsewhere.
- Aunt B
Mama helps Isabelle find a new home
Isabelle – Female, Terrier Mix
Isabelle is about a four month old twelve pound Terrier mix. Her adult weight will probably be somewhere around twenty pounds. She was an owner turn in along with her playmate Ollie. Isabelle knows basic manners and we have found her to be extremely bright. This cute as a button girl walks nicely on leash and likes other dogs. She probably would do best in an adult only home or a home where children are over twelve.
- Mama
To Get Over The Affair Have Another Affair
Dear Brenda,
I had an eight-month affair with a married man. He told his wife so now I don’t talk or see him anymore. There are some days that I wish I still talked to him and am sad and I’m not interested in any other men.
Dear Not-Interested-In-Any-Other-Men,
Having an affair can feel like being under the influence of a drug. The sex is sexier, the professions of desire are profuse. Usually the woman is having her emotional needs met and the man is usually in it for the sexual gratification. Doesn’t sound so sexy when you put it like that does it? An affair is not a relationship. There are no decisions about who will pay which bills or take out the trash. Only when and where they next meeting will take place, and all that secretiveness is so sexy. And it’s easy to be on your best behavior when you see your once-in-a-while-lover, well, once in a while.
If he loved you, he would have dealt with his wife before starting anything with you. He was bored, or desired some sort of sex he wasn’t getting at home. Mature love says wait. Immature love says damn everyone else.
I’m sure you miss the attention. And you might wonder why I don’t sound more sympathetic. Well. Married men are just that. Married. So while you feel sad and are not interested in other men, I know you will move on. After his confession, his marriage might be over.
Do you know the best way to get over those overwhelming feelings of sadness? Start another affair… with a local shelter, a school or hospital. Give some of that passion to someone who really deserves it. He’s just not worth it.
-Brenda has spoken.
Corn: Everything on your plate is corn. See it to believe it.
Think you aren’t getting your fair share of corn? Think again. Corn is one of the raw materials of our overweight society.
- Mama
Childhood obesity: Children who can’t identify a tomato
Interesting video. After about a minute of talking, Jamie Oliver shows a classroom video where he asks children to identify different vegetables. Several children could not identify a tomato.
Folks, we need to educate our children now!
- Mama
Banning Talc from My Makeup Party
In my quest to go green, I figure I should examine as many areas of my life as possible. And of course, makeup is just another one of those things I need to take a closer look at. After all, I use makeup almost daily (weekends off, ladies, if you know what I mean?), so it’s a pretty big contributor to my daily routine.
And it’s a good thing I started to scrutinize this aspect of my existence, because my, oh my! There are all kinds of scary chemicals and ingredients in the makeup we commonly use. For instance:
- Coal tar dyes: Found under names like FD&C or D&C, these colors are a byproduct of the coal tar industry, are confirmed carcinogens, and can contribute to other skin problems like hives and rashes. We should definitely stay away from makeup with things like FD&C Green #1, #2, #3, Blue #1, Red #2, #3, #19, Yellow #10 and #11, and D&C Orange.
- Formaldehyde: It should be no surprise that this one is of concern. After all, formaldehyde is a known carcinogen and can contribute to problems with asthma as well. And even though the US FDA once banned this substance in our cosmetics, it can now be found in powders, shadows, foundations, and mascaras.
- Parabens: Good grief, these are found in virtually everything these days, and are put into our makeup as preservatives. They’re also suspected endocrine disruptors, and are being linked to cancer as well.
- Phthalates: Used in makeup to make them last longer, “fix” fragrances, and to encourage deeper penetration of products into the skin, these chemicals are common in lipsticks and glosses, eye shadows and liners, blush, and nail polishes as well. They are suspected in all kinds of health problems, including hormone disruption, neurotoxicity, kidney and liver failure, and more
- Talc: Yes, the ingredient most common in our baby powder can also be found in most makeup products, including eye shadows, foundations (powder and liquid), blushes, mascara, eye liners, and more. Not sure what the problem is? Turns out it can be naturally infused with asbestos when it’s mined out of the ground, making it a potential carcinogen. Asbestos in baby care products? Crazy.
The moral of my makeup party story: I’m going to be reading labels from now on. No more cheap drug store options!
- Lucy
Fluttering hearts: Dating after divorce
While I make a great effort to cultivate friendships with other singletons, most of my friends, I’m so happy to say (note of disdain intended), are in committed partnerships, and have been for years. I had lunch with a trio of them today, as we make an effort to do every month. They are always hugely interested in my love life – who’ve I dated, how far did I go? I find it all a bit cheeky, quite frankly, as we certainly don’t discuss their sex lives to the extent that we discuss my (non-existent) one. For some reason, they think that being single is exciting, and it’s almost as though they enjoy, for that brief hour and a half, to live a little vicariously through me.
Without wanting to put too much of a damper on their spirits (or concede that the single life all but stinks), I try to paint a realistic picture of what my life is really like – they are working mothers too; they also spend a full day at the job, a few precious hours with the kids and tumble exhausted into bed at night… if they don’t have time for sex, when do they think I have time for dating?
It’s the butterflies they’re after, these friends of mine. They think that I’ve got them because I’m back on the dating circuit. Yes, there have been occasions since the divorce when I felt those lovely jitters of newfound love, but I’ve also slogged my way through an endless meal, knowing full well I never want to lay eyes on the creep again. The sad thing is that while they’re seeking the love jive, I crave the tedium of comfort they so take for granted.
Why does the grass always look greener on the other side?
- Single-again Samantha
She Says She’s A Virgin
Dear Brenda,
My girlfriend said she is a virgin, but I need sex and I don’t know how to tell her because she might think that sex is all I’m after. I don’t want to lose her.
Dear I-Need-Sex,
You say that your girlfriend “said” she is a virgin. Is there some doubt? Whether or not she is or isn’t, isn’t the issue. However, you need to put your needs aside and leave her as you found her unless she expresses a desire to have sex with you. If sex isn’t what you’re after then waiting should not be a problem. It’s mind over uhm… matter, if your get what I’m saying.
The only thing you NEED to do in this life my friend is eat, sleep and pay your taxes and I hear even in the afterlife the tax -man cometh, but I digress.
As for your physical needs, keep them to your self for now. And how can I put this delicately so Mama doesn’t blow a fuse… handle your business my friend, handle your business.
- Brenda
