Internet = bad for relationships?
Let’s face it, men cheat and women cheat. Often times, men cheat because someone more interesting caught their eye. Whereas, women cheat mostly because they are miserably unhappy at home.
Sometimes I wonder if the internet is bad for relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet. The availability of information (and lots of gossip) is unmatched by any other technology. However, several times, 1 bad argument has sent a jilted lover to sites like Match.com and EHarmony.com in search of a new relationship, or, dare I say it, a One Night Stand.
Is the internet bad for relationships, or does it keep us from being ’stuck’ with someone who is really “Not the One”? Tell me what you think.
- Mama
I have to say that I believe the internet is so bad for relationships. Lets face it, in every relationship you are going to have periods where you feel stale…maybe unloved…bored. It is so easy now for everyone to go online and stumble upon the “right one…love of my life” type of person. Everyone online sounds interesting. We all have our good sides. No one tells their bad attributes. So, its very easy to become mesmerized with someone online. Instead of working on the relationship to make it better, doing whatever it takes to work things out, we turn to strangers online, believing that they can make our lives better. Some people leave their current relationships for these new loves that they have found online. Once in that relationship, many times, they find that the new relationship isn’t any better than the old one. So, they go through it again…and again. Having the access to so many “wonderful” people on the internet makes it too easy for people to cheat and ruin otherwise good relationships. Chat rooms are the worse! Lets face it, the majority of people that go into these chat rooms are having problems in real life and are using the internet as an escape. Think about it…how many of your friends that are happy in life, happy in their relationships, are sitting online in chat rooms? Almost none, would be my guess. You may not go online looking to start a romantic relationship with anyone. You just want to talk to someone about your troubles. Eventually, though, it happens. You start talking to someone…then you open up more and more…and you find yourself falling for that person. Or you end up becoming sexually involved with someone. Whatever it is, it is cheating – plain and simple. I’ve seen it happen many times over. I even fell prey to it. I was having a rough time in my marriage and started talking to people online. Eventually, I fell for someone and left my husband. I ended up marrying the person I left my husband for…and trust me, he is not the “wonderful” person I thought he was. This marriage is much worse. But, the one thing I learned was that I do not go online and “chat” anymore. I could have worked out my first marriage…looking back, it wasn’t that bad…I was just depressed. I didn’t go online looking for someone else…I was adamant that I didn’t believe in that. I just wanted someone to talk to. That’s how it always starts. So innocent. I was so wrong. The internet is not the way to fix your life. You are the way to fix your life. Just my observation.
ref: Internet= bad for relationship
Techonolgy can never be bad.
Internet is a source of information and easy way of communication. It depends how one uses it. It has developed in last decade only but Relationships were breaking even when the Internet was not there. Nothing in this universe is bad if we do not misuse it. Every system has its usefulness but we spoil it either by over doing or by using it wrongly. We need to understand the strength of Internet and lets get benifits out of it. Blame game is just lame excuses. We should know our limits when we are on net and maintain the decency.Mobile phones are contributing more in building and spoiling relation at a rapid speed rather than internet.
Internet has knowledge and knowledge is power so use it and become powerfull, not powerless.
I guess the same could have been said for the Pony Express, the telegraph, the telephone, etc. Any means that makes it easier or faster for us to communicate our desire can be considered uhm… bad?
I think this has more to do with our values. Do we value what we have at home?
We’re a pretty spoiled bunch, us humans, we don’t like to work too hard. Relationships are hard and good times and bad times come. Can you work through the bad times? Is the grass always greener?
My two cents.
I don’t think the internet is bad for relationships. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, and we go on the internet all the time together. Ruth, your post is melodramatic and makes sweeping judgements. Not all people go to the internet to find someone else when they’re having a bad time in their relationship. In fact, I would say most people talk to their friends, people they know in real life. Furthermore, not all people that go into chat room have something wrong with their real life. Don’t generalize based on your experiences. Everyone fights in their relationships occasionally. It is a sign of poor self control and deeper problems in the relationship if you choose to cheat. An otherwise healthy relationship in which you fight occasionally doesn’t lead to cheating. Cheaters have no self control, and have problems either with themselves (sex addiction, depression, etc) or aren’t happy in the relationship (their significant other might be controlling, unhappy, or just not the right person for them.)
Guns don’t kill people… people kill people. The internet is the tool people use to kill relationships. Okay… maybe they don’t set out for it to be that way, but that’s what often happens. Straying is just too easy. In the past, in order to have an affair, a person had to actually shower, get dressed and find an out of town place to meet someone without been caught. Now armed with nothing more than a username and password, one can be an interim Romeo(or Juliet)for a night. It’s just too easy. After we would fight, it was nothing for dating profiles made by my boyfriend to pop up. I don’t think the internet will hurt a healthy relationship but if your relationship is already sickly… being online will euthanize it quickly.
There is to much hype in this post, you say men cheat because something caught there eyes. Well I disagree we also run into the unhappiness at home. And we all know it is up to each individual to stray. Even if there is a good relationship at home. When something catches your eye, and I do not care if you are male or female and you really want it you will do it. And if you really love who you are with you will love appreciate everyday you are together. This is speaking from experience. And when they say he or she will do it again then they do not belong in a relationship. And for their sake, I hope they have plenty of protection. I made the mistake once and it something I will regret for the rest of my life, she was my wife. And she was pregnant at the time. That was 25 years ago had a couple of girlfriends but never remarried. I guess this is my punishment. One lasted 14 years and she never divorced her husband. The second well that one never worked out and yes she cheated on me. So now I figure one day I will find mine. I know now not to make the same mistake again and to treat her like right and never make the same mistake again. It is a pain I will never forget, besides stupidity.
Relationships take work, and if you don’t wanna work at it, then be single and date whoever you want. I find being in a relatioship is rewarding and I don’t need him I want him, and internet does not hurt a relationship unless you choose to allow it to, life is full of choices, temptations etc…. Well making the right choice and living with values, and communication with your partner helps a lot, tell them what you need and want, people can’t read your mind
People are so lazy now. Face to face dating has practically gone away with all the texting and chat rooms. Our young people have terrible communication skills as a result of hiding behind a stupid computer! Get out there and date! It’s too easy to sit on ur computer and browse women online like a catalog. Then the guys are all bummed when their dream girl opens her mouth to speak and aren’t the angel they LOOKED like. What do you expect? Nothing wrong with looking but they are big boys and know the rules! If they choose to cheat you have to end the affair for them. Trust me it works-cougars know how to keep their hubby’s happy!
I guess in one way the internet is bad for relationships but in another it’s not…
For starters you never know who you’re talking to, unless you webcam each other or speak over the phone but even then you can’t be sure it’s the real thing.
But you can get to know someone alot better through a screen sometimes, I think people find it alot easier to type their personalities than to act them out in real life.
I, for one, know my true personality comes out better over the screen.
There are so many arguements and opinions on this subject and none of them are wrong or right, in the end it’s your responsibilty on the internet and you should never do anything stupid like giving out details or arranging to meet up unless you’re absolutely sure, even then you need to be careful.
Anyways back on the point, yes and no.