07/29/2009
To Spank Or Not To Spank
“Go get my belt.” 
Those were the most dreaded words ever spoken in our house. It meant someone was going to get the belt, an extension cord or a switch from the plum tree in the backyard, one of those tools of discipline, liberally applied to their hindquarters.
These days we struggle with spanking, meaning that some folk believe in the saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” others believe that hitting a child is abuse, period, and still there are others who believe that spanking within its limits is acceptable.
There are a couple of problems I have with spanking. For starters it seems to me that there are some folk who go to far. They spank to relieve their own frustration and rage, and that’s when it becomes abusive. More importantly hitting doesn’t teach an alternative behavior—the lessons learned after a spanking is next time don’t get caught.
So I checked in with what the American Academy of Pediatrics endorses as acceptable methods of discipline:
- Natural and logical consequences – meaning let the chips fall where they man when your child makes the wrong decision.
- Withholding privileges.
- Time outs.
Hmmm….
However when they surveyed random members from the Academy the results were very interesting:
- 31% completely oppose spanking.
- 53% generally oppose, but feel that an occasional spanking can be effective.
- 13% favored limited use of corporal punishment.
- 1.5% were unsure.
Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your own children? Is it acceptable to hit another person in order to control them?
What do you think?
- Aunt B
To spank!! I remember growing up my mother used to spank me to correct me not to hurt me and it helped me stay on the right track! It worked at least for me.
Hmmm. I was spanked as a child in the form of a wooden spoon, “belt” (I remember a distinctively mean looking belt buckle) and I really have mixed feelings about it. I was spanked, I believe now that I am older, out of anger and frustration. Not that myself or my sister were doing anything to endanger ourselves or others, but because we weren’t “listening”. I do not like my son’s father using spanking because I feel he uses it in the same manner. Or as a form of control. And I also do not like the yelling part of that. Though I would NEVER use anything other than my hand to swat at his behind, I am beginning to feel worse and worse everytime he does do something that I feel warrants a spanking. If he is harming his sister, which he sometimes does with a devlish look on his face, then I do resort to a swat. But I do have to catch myself if I start to spank him for simply “not listening”…I try to remember that hands are for holding, not hitting. As hard as it sometimes may be for me…
Your take is interesting, and I also think the results from the pediatricians was as well. Even though as a unit they voted against it, they also used it as a form of discipline with their own children.
I agree, that hands are for holding not hitting, as well as love and fear cannot live in the same place.
Hmmmm…
May I say that I too was spanked as a child…I didn’t grow and turn into a killer or whatever . I know there’s a strong push against spanking in our world. Yet the bib;e tells us it’s our responsibility to correct our children. If we remember all children are just “little people” each with it’s own understanding then I feel at times a child really needs a spanking. I spank my grand and great grand children with my hand on their rears…it’s REALLY hurts me worse than them. But I have also seen how they come to me for days afterward with hugs and love, no back talking, no ignoring me…it’s a blessing !
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc that can easily be found by doing a little research on “spanking”.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
The LDS Church (http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html click “quotes on spanking”)
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law. In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Thanks for the input PD
@PDeverit: Your line, “In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.” Is incorrect. The United States and Somalia are the two countries that have not ratified it.
What a shame! Children should never be spanked. It’s the parent’s that are out of control. Not the children.