A rainbow at the end of an STD shower

Every Tuesday Mama shares a personal story. This week’s story was written by Amy
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I was told I had genital herpes some time ago. I thought my world was over. I was 26 at the time, in a new relationship (the very person who gave it to me) and he never even knew he carried the virus. I was absolutely broken. I was inconsolable for days and simply thought I’d be a spinster forever.

I had a 2 1/2 year old son at the time and thought it would just be me and him forever, alone. The worst thing I could think of was meeting a brilliant guy, and then having to tell him I had genital herpes. Two weeks later, my boyfriend, who’d given it to me dumped me. I felt so alone.

Let me tell you my story…

I met a fantastic guy some time ago and really liked him. But at the back of my mind was, why bother, he will run a mile when I tell him.

He lived about 1 1/2 hours drive from me. He was obviously into me too, as he traveled over every weekend to see me. We hadn’t even kissed, we were just friends. As he was making all this effort, I thought it was high time I was straight with him.

We’d been out for a bbq in the evening and when we got home, I told him. I had done some reading and got some ideas on how to tell him. I didn’t apologize for having it, I was honest and up front, I didn’t belittle it, nor did I make it out to be something bigger than it was. I was shaking like a bag of leaves… he looked at me, leaned over and kissed me for the first time. I cried!

He said it didn’t change how he felt about me and it didn’t change anything between us. We have been together ever since and enjoy a happy and healthy sex life. He is fully aware of the risks and consequences of sleeping with me, and has chosen not to protect himself with a condom. We are in a serious relationship and I’m guessing he may be ‘the one’.

We were tested for all other STDs. I know with us having unprotected sex, I will not put me at any risks. I would be willing to use condoms for his protection, but it is his choice not to as he feels closer to me without them, and intends to be with me for the rest of his life. So if he gets it, he gets it. He will not be shocked or upset, its just life for him. Getting genital herpes for him outweighs living life without me. He makes me feel so special and so wanted, and herpes is no longer a subject, I think about all day, every day.

All I can say to other sufferers, especially those just diagnosed, is that there is hope. Somehow, somewhere you just have to pull something up from inside you and go on. Believe that you are worthy of being happy again, and that you will. Never ever risk not telling a sexual partner. You will only live with guilt and fear. Stand up, be proud of who you are, and don’t be ashamed of an affliction that was never your fault. This is life, there’s things far worse than herpes. Count your lucky stars its only herpes.

Much love.
Amy