Think your life is tough? Read this…
Every Tuesday, Mama will share a personal story. This story was written by Anita
********************************************************************************
Abuse is something I hate with a passion. But I’ve been abused in so many ways for most of my life. I’ve experienced all types, but each one feels so hard to carry.
I grew up in a house with my grandparents along with about 20 other people. It was a big house and family. All of us kids were treated unfairly by our parents and family members. My twin brother and I personally never lived with our parents, we just knew of them. We were verbally abused and physically. Always hit for everything, everything was always the kids’ faults. We were the dumb ones, lazy ones, stupid ones..only a few adults in the house treated us right.
When I was 8, one of my uncles started molesting me, my cousin, and my twin brother at the same time. He would make a game out of it. We would have to show our private parts and touch each other. I was so scared, I was little and didn’t understand it very much. I still don’t…
When I was 11, I was being molested by one of my uncle’s friends. He was our babysitter and we use to go over his house to swim while he was watching us. He was nice at first, always let me get my own soda. Then things got bad. He would take me in the house and touch me everywhere, make me feel so dirty.
It wasn’t long before he started raping me. The first time he drugged me, but then he stopped and did it whenever he wanted to. It was so bad I got an infection from the intercourse and my grandmother had to take me to the doctor because it hurt to sit down. I tried to tell, but no one believed me.
When I was 12, my twin brother and I started being molested by our father. We moved with him after we had enough of our grandparents’ house. He was a drunk. He use to beat us and molest me at night. He would come into my bedroom and do awful things to me.
Soon he started making my twin brother join in with what he was doing. I know my brother didn’t want to, that’s why I’m not mad at him. My brother was forced to do things with me so my dad could watch. Then my father went farther and started raping me.
Mean while, sometimes we still went over my uncle’s friend’s house. I was raped once more and got pregnant. My father found out and beat me when I was 3 months. I lost the baby…
My dad wouldn’t go to work sometimes, so he often didn’t have money for beer. So he decided to use me. He would have me wait into my bedroom for someone to come in and I would have to do everything that person tells me to do. The men that came, sometimes women, would pay my dad to do things with me.
I went into foster care at the age of 13, and go away from everything. My brother was left behind because he wouldn’t come forward. So here I am today telling you my story. And remember to stay strong, better days are to come. I’m telling you this now, and I’m only 15 years old….
- Anita
Oh god, this is so incredibly sad, Anita. Thank God you are alright, and were able to get out that horrible, horrible situation. God bless.
Im SO sorry to hear what happened to you.
Thank goodness youre alive, and okay. Im really sorry that you had to go through all of that.
Your story made me cry on. You are such a strong girl. Don’t think of the past. Think about how you are free now and your future is ahead of you. May God bless you. Remember, God may delay; but he never forgets.
You are an incredible person Anita! I had a friend that was molested in her early teens. I found out about it after she had left and joined the air force. Since then, I have tried to contact her and thought I found her, but did not get a return call. Alot of people want to forget and move on. You are so curagous to speak your story. You are a strong one and a survivor. You will go on and become a light to those that are still in awful situations. May god bless you and keep you in his almighty hands!
Laura
Oh my. Stay strong baby girl. There are some good people out there. They just haven’t crossed your path yet.
Anita, you are so young. In your short life you have endured unthinkable things that no one should have had to endure. The people that did this to you are sick, sick, sick. You are not dirty, or unworthy. You are a brave, and courageous young woman. I can only hope that you know there are other people out in the world who are good, loving and kind. I see such a determination and strength in your words, even as you tell such a horrible tale. I can only pray that you stay strong yourself and look to the future for a better life. You will make it and at 15 you still have a whole life ahead of you. I am just sorry your brother could not have left as well. My heart goes out to you little one.
Dear Anita,
Your story has touched my heart and made me cry. I am so sorry for your suffering and pain, and I wished I could relieve it for you. YOu will definitely be in my prayers. I can’t begin to understand the reason why evil persists in families and abuse is perpetuated. By sharing your story you can help millions of others who have experienced what you have. Your bravery and courage is amazing, and you are already being healed because you share your story so honestly. There are people in the world who care about you and not what you can do for them. I pray you will find those people so that you and your brother both can be healed! Thanks for sharing.
Love, Valerie
Anita-
Iv’e kinda gone through the same thing as you. No body’s believed me either. Five year’s later. We can either live in sadness and depression, or we can look up and attempt a smile knowing that very soon Jesus is coming to take all that believe in him, home where we won’t be molested or abused anymore. my father was an alcoholic as well, but he didn’t live with me. I will pray for you until we see each other. Donna.
P.S. for anyone who wants to know how to get to heaven: “A” Accept Jesus as your lord and savior,
“B” believe Jesus is God’s son,
“C” Confess your sins to Jesus so he can go to the Father (God)and plead on YOUR behalf.
A simple prayer to Jesus/God:
Dear God/Jesus’
I come to you because I have seen I have messed up big and I need your forgiveness and love. I want to become clean and live with you. I know that you sent jesus to earth to die for my life and give me a new start, and I thank you for that. I want to apologize for all the wrong things I have done in that past. They were not pleasing to you and hurt you deeply. I want to accept Jesus in to my heart and become your child. Thank you for caring and loving me so much that you would give up you only child for my life. In your name, Amen.
If you pray this prayer and mean it, I can very safely assure you that God heard every word!
Donna
Hi..i don’t really know what to tell you because i know that even though you recieve many encouraging words it’s only your determination which will bring you to a brighter and above all secure future..Anita i know what u have been through but i’ll tell you what i say to myself in order to get the strength to move on:The fact today is that i’m ALIVE after having been through my horrible past and now there’s no reason for me to not move on to my future!God’s knows all of it and he brought us through all of these and i’m thankful today to be just ALIVE god protect you sister..
Hello Anita,
I was also molsted by my father when i turned 12. I was was a boy, and when I told my grand father the only person I could confide in. He told me that no one would believe me and that I was a fag. My grandfather would taunt my and say that don;t you know that Homosexuals go to hell.
So I never told any one. I am 25 now, and I dont talk to either my grandfather or my father. I think he was molesting my half brother but. I was to scared to find out. And it really hurt my feelings when my grandpa started treating me like that. I found out later by my mother, that Grandfather has molested my father through out his whole child hood.
-Looger
That is beyond words I’m speechless. I am SO sorry for what happened in your past! I am so glad that you have moved on and you are now able to share your story and wish the best for others. You are brave and strong! Keep going looking ahead and sharing your story!
Wow. I’m also a teen, and to hear your story…I just couldn’t imagine. I’m so sorry for your struggles and difficulties in life, but I hope you go on in life, and don’t let the past effect you and your plans. Some people let it get to them and turn to things like drugs and alcohol. Of course you don’t want to do that, and I pray that things become easier and better for you, i pray for your success and happiness in life.
Anita, I was both so horrified to read about what you had gone through at such a young age but happy that you also had the strength and courage to speak about what happened. I was also molested at 11 years old and it continued on for many years. Family members I told either didn’t believe me or made believe it never happened. Keeping it bottled up inside of you would have eaten you alive slowly over the years. There are a lot of sick, sick people out there and remember everyone gets exactly what they deserve good or bad sooner or later, but they definately do. Remember you were taken advantage of and nothing was your fault and that you are a strong and courageous young lady with her whole brand new life ahed of her