Loading ...06/24/2009
And What If They Are Cheating?
“Is this Aunt B?”
“Yes, “ I say, stirring a batch of cookies.
“Do you drive a red Mustang?”
“Yes,” I say again, the mixing has slowed. I’m standing at attention.
“Can you tell your husband to stop sleeping with my wife?”
I drop the utensils, mutter something into the phone I can’t remember, what I do remember is that a storm gathered and rain fell from my eyes while thunder and lightening lept from my mouth and throat.
Betrayal is hard to overcome. Trust is difficult to rebuild. Those things we know. Marriages and relationships can survive this, and when they do, they often come out stronger. This is where you go deep. You have to know what you want in order to get through and how you get through is sometimes one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Before I confronted my spouse I had to know what I was prepared to do. Was I prepared to leave? Was my financial house in order? After the confrontation did I have a place to go? A safe space in case things went south?
I’d like to say I was calm, I wasn’t.
There are certain ground rules when it comes to confronting a cheating spouse. I’ll talk about them in the next post.
Let’s just start here.
Have your proof.
Think through the possibilities, have a plan.
Know what you want, ask yourself if you are ready to walk away.
If you think your partner is cheating curtail sex. You don’t know if they are playing safe and you don’t want an STD.
Is the internet bad for relationships?
- Aunt B
Lose that zero and get your self a HERO!!! He’s probably infected with Herpes Simplex Virus-1 or the AIDS!!! You never know…next time you make love you should check that boy out!!!
BEST of Luck Aunt B.
~Sandy V. Gina
my grandmother taught me not to belive anything i hear and only half of what you see. marriage is bast on trust, so if you face your spouse and they are not guilty you can damage that most important trust.maybe the other person is very upset and your spouse just happened to be the one they can trust to unload on.sex may be the last thing on thier mind. this very thing happend to me. so make sure the one calling knows what they are talking about, befor you do anything. you can put off sex for a few days by saying honey i’m just not up to it right now and that won’t be a lie.hope this helps aunt bea from miss bea.
Why is it when I read about a cheating spouse its always directed at a man. A woman can cheat too. I have friends whose wives have been unfaithful, but thats not the same as a man cheating. Bull****. A woman that cheats is as big “zero” as any man.
E. Bradshaw, it’s the same when anyone cheats. Just like B. Phelps said, it breaks the trust. That’s hard to recover from, whether it’s a man or woman that does it. It just plain hurts.
i am currently deployed in iraq and theings were going smooth during the first 4 months of my deployment when things started changing. she doesnt reply as much to my emails anymore and shen she does, she claims that she’s hanging out with our neighbors wives till wee hour of the night. we have 2 wonderful kids and i love them to death. about a few weeks ago she asked to have a divorce. she said that she is no longer happy and that she is gonna go home to her parents home and i can just pick up all my clothes when i get back. is this how you treat a person that sacrificed his time and effort to make sure that you are safe whan you go to bed at night? she wants to take my children and is not very clear on the visitation and my time for them. it has devastated me deeply and now that i only have few more weeks left before i return home she wants to get back with me and tells me that she loves me. i am so ready to move on but i think about our kids and how i cant live without them.
this goes to E Bradshaw,why cheating spouses are always directed at men is because they cheat the most and have little or no control over it but 95% women hardly ever think of hurting her spouse.i am in a relationship and am a woman i know that no matter what i would never think of hurting him but it isnt up to a month we visited our parents and lost visaul touch he is already cheating.my prove:i called him on my mobile and he couldnt talk in english rather he tried speaking a dialet only both of us understands so the other person wont know he is talkin to me and his voice sounded indifferent like he was talkin to a stranger i dont know if i should trust him anymore
Of course women cheat too. Who do you think the men are cheating with?
It takes alot of trust and when one cheats it can’t always be worked out in a relationship sense but; that doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends. I was having marital problems and ended up cheating on my husband.We tried to make it work and just couldn’t but to this day we are best friends.It has been almost 2 years.He has forgiven me and we love each other we just can’t be together.If anyone has children I hope for there sake that you can be friends.
RE: soldier of misfortune
First of all I know its off topic but I don’t agree with going to war just so we can subsidize oil prices and piss off more people in Iraq by getting all these so called terrorist which include small children(like I said its my own personal opinion disregard it in relation to this topic). Anyhow it seems to me when people are gone for long periods of time its one of two things when the relationship isn’t the same once that person had time to think maybe it wasn’t really all you thought it was cracked out to be to begin with when they realize they don’t want to do it anymore. Two in your situation which it could be multiple things like your wife got insecure at the thought of losing you or being alone during that period of time so she sought comfort else where and now your finally coming back for certain she feels better and more secure about the relationship and wants to continue.Honestly though only you know how things were between the two of you befor you left and if you really feel like the relationships done and she was cheating on you after you talk to her and you choose to stay with her knowing she did just for the children I recommend unless you can forgive her and move on don’t do it because you won’t be happy and your children will see the fighting ad disfunctional relationship and conceive that as a normal way of life.
Well I wish you the best of luck on resolving this issue take care!
I found out after only 3 1/2 months of marriage my spouse was cheating on me with his ex-wife and had been during most of our engagement. I moved out and left him. After being seperated for nearly a year he wanted to get back together. I really wish I hadn’t, because I found out whenever he went out of town on business he had a stand by secretary that would meet him after work and he started an affair w/a local woman who was married after only being back together 5 months. I don’t know what is his problem is but he will cheat w/any woman that wants him. The last one he cheated on me with is very overweight, works as a cashier at a convenience store and poor as a church mouse. Not to mention she has several tattoos, which he says he can’t stand on a woman. He usually cheated on me with overweight women. He even lost a good paying job flirting too much with a long time employee. I honestly think he’s not only a pathological liar, and a cheat, he is addicted to pornography and sex. He apparently has no guilty conscious, anybody and anywhere. How can anyone be so pathetic? He wondered why I wouldn’t have sex with him, can we say GROSS. I don’t know if he lacks confidence or his childhood was really messed up or both, but I have never cheated on him, not even for spite. I have higher morals and principals. To me sex is more than just doing it physically with just anybody. That’s so meaningless.
From what I have seen some women do cheat, but a lot more men appear to do so.
Re: soldier of misfortune
Studies actually show that in the short and long terms, children are better of when their parents stay together even when it is an unhappy situation. Find out for sure if she is cheating. I always encourage people to work atleast attempt to work it out, but with cheating sometimes there is no healing with that. I would encourage you to atleast give it a shot. Be different then everyone else who just throws in the towl.
Dear C.K.,
I do believe there is more than one school of thought on that. I have friends whose parents have remained together and they were unhappy. He spent most of his formative years wishing his parents would get a divorce. He learned to be uncommunicative and to withhold, he learned how to lie and cover up.
I do agree with the last part of your response. Make the those decisions from a place of love and compassion, for yourself first and then for your partner. Make a decision that leaves you with the least regrets. Cheating in a relationship can be overcome. Trust can be rebuilt. And some people are worth the effort.
Soldier of misfortune- unfortunately, military marriages have a very high rate of divorce, as well as cheating. Due mostly to the long deployments that initiate feelings of lonliness and abandonment. A lot of military marriages were on a whim in the first place, which barely gives you a strong foundation.
I suggest you get to the root of her unhappiness and if it turns out that she is not cut out for military life, then so be it; she is entitled to her happiness just as much as you are. Trust me, no one will ever put down what you do, and there is a lot of respect for it, no matter how people feel about the particulars of the war. But, when it comes to marriage, sometimes people don’t understand the full scope of things until they are in it, and they find themselves unhappy and want out. Life takes crazy turns, but another will soon come and if you guys don’t work it out, you will find someone that does understand it. As for your kids, just get an attorney (check with your legal aid dept through military, they have a lot of resources) and you will get plenty of time with them, if not have them live with you while you are here. best of luck!
Well Jen, first off..I have been deployed 3 consecutive time’s in Iraq and have done and experienced things regarding being separated and eventually lead to a divorce. Though you mentioned that you don’t believe in the war, just keep it yourself and do not put your 2 cents on why you don’t believe on this cause because the soldier that you just gave an advice to is a hero and these are the same people that will put their lives on the line for you and for anybody that threatens the same freedom you have, including the “2cents” reason you mentioned why we are at war. Maybe you should move to a different country were freedom of speech are being banned so you can fully appreciate what you have today.
While I appreciate a lively discussion more than most people, the topic at hand is about cheating. C-H-E-A-T-I-N-G.
Can a relationship recover from it?
Can you rebuild trust?
Should you leave?
Experiences welcome. Confessions welcome.
This is regards to men cheating..I was a Navy wife for 15 years..have three daughters by this very husband..now ex husband. Sometimes people find themselves in a situation where they are thinking with not the right part of their body. I divorced him because he couldn’t keep faithful to me. We tried the couples counseling and everything..that is what I would suggest about before making any rash decisions…anywho..to the person who stated that you should stay together for the kids..even if you arent happy..are you kidding me??? The kids catch on very easily that there is problems and that will effect them in the long run..All three of my girls remember the tension and the arguments..even though they werent in the room kids can sense the “bad” feelings. So all I can say that person who said that you stay together for the children doesnt have kids his or herself. Now my girls are teenagers and since they remember their father being such a bad guy, he admitted to the girls of his unfaithfulness, my girls are leary of the opposite sex because I stayed with their father too long. Hindsight is 20/20..I feel for the soldier guy..but be honest here..both sexes cheat. Just dont drag it out when the relationship is over. I have no regrets kicking him to the curb@!
I have forgiven my husband for his cheating and we have done the counseling. I have changed my ways in order to get my self-esteem back unfortunately I can not say the same for him. He still has the immaturity of not taking responsiblity for his words and actions. I know that I am on my way out of my marriage. The children do suffer and it will take more work to try and give the necessary tools for life to them if the focus of your family is an unbalanced uncommunicative marriage. My husband works out of town and comes in on the weekends but he is fine for only about two days after that honeymoon phase disappears. I see his working out of town as a blessing now because it has allowed my children and myself to heal to a certain point. I am happy and well balanced. Most importantly I know that I can not change others only myself and I am worth it. Along this journey I have taught them to be responsible for their actions and they are not responsible for the actions of others. I know they will be fine with my decision because I have also taught them to stand up for themselves and also to forgive their father because it is not forgetting but it is letting go of the hurt.
Hey Trying,
Letting go of the hurt is the hard part, but let me let you in on something, you’re really close. You’re not blaming, you know your worth and you’re modeling some really good things for your kids. Brava to you brave soul!
I’ve been on the planet a minute, I know this; it is in the crisis, in the hard parts, the hurts, that’s where we grow the most. We hurt, we grow and we find joy again. Really.
Hello everyone,
I stumbled upon this discussion accidentally but found myself intrigued. My spouse cheated with an ex-girlfriend that he insisted he just wanted to remain friends with a few years ago. Though the cheating wasn’t physical but over the phone/internet when he confessed I was devasted. It was very hurtful and very painful, but I also knew that I loved him very much and we both wanted to work through this situation. we spent hours, days and weeks discussing what had happened, discussing our relationship, discussing how we felt. one of the the things i found really helpful for my healing process was that he was willing to answer all my questions honestly and of course that he cut off all contact with this “friend” while I was in the room listening. He was willing to be honest and up front about everything and if I made a request of him ie. to call me at a certain time and tell me how he was doing during his day etc. he would in order to help rebuild the trust. we discovered a lot about ourselves and the mistakes we made, we were going through a difficult time when it happened and it made me realize that I had to take responsibility for my part in the relationship too. I hadn’t listened or taken seriously when he told me he wanted to address the situation he was frustrated with. and though he recognized that this did not excuse his behaviour, it made me realize that cheating happens for different reasons. the cheating is most often a symptom of a deeper issue. sometimes the cheater is a sex addict who needs professional help to deal with the problem of cheating and lying etc. often the cheater has low self esteem, they are afraid their spouse will leave or not love them etc. etc. and put tremendous amount of pressure on themselves. sometimes they feel unattractive or vulnerable and think that if a spouse gives them reassurance it’s kind of like our mothers telling us we look beautiful in an ugly dress, they have to say it because they are family (or so they believe) and therefore look to be affirmed or valued by someone outside the relationship. it doesn’t have to be sexual to be cheating, often times it starts out very innocently and on an emotional level and then becomes sexual if the feelings or issues aren’t addressed and intesify. sometimes if the partner is away for extended periods of time the cheating spouse may feel abandoned, lonely and vulnerable and look for affirmation and consolation with someone else. it’s important to understand that the cheating is only symptomatic of deeper issues in the relationship, and if both partners are willing to work on those issues honestly and sincerely to repair the relationship and the trust healing can happen, the damage can be repaired and more because if you deal with the rot that’s hiding under rug instead of repeatedly sweeping it under you clean house and stregthen your bond by rebuilding on healthy (or at least healthier) communication and attitudes. it takes a lot of work and years later we sometimes ask ourselves if we make each other truly happy…but when we become frustrated it’s a sign that its time to stop and talk and figure out what is bothering us so that it can be dealt with before it cause any serious harm. I am glad to say that three years later we are more in love than ever. when i think back on that time it still twinges of pain for both of us, but that is just a reminder to keep on top of things as they come so that we don’t let it happen again. if you truly love the person your with don’t let fear and anger stand in the way of rebuilding your relationship. it is possible to overcome. but I also agree with the previous comments, if you are truly unhappy it is best to go your own way and find your peace elsewhere life is too short to spend with someone who for whatever their reasons can’t truly love and respect you. good luck to all…
Gina,
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I think my post: (http://blog.mamashealth.com/2009/12/16/et-tu-tigre-and-you-tiger-an-open-letter-to-elin-nordegren-woods/)
offers good advice too!
Thanks for chiming in.
B–
Gina
I am going through the same situation at this moment. I am engaged and my fiancee’ met her old boy friend through what else Face Book. Although the relationship was over 15 years ago they reconnected this past September. I knew something was going on but she insisted that they were just friends. I had to catch her by recording her while on the phone while I work the night of October 30th. She only admitted this after she was caught but can’t remember certain things that was said over the phone only her climax. While I was admitted over night to a hospital (10/10/2009)for anxiety, after endless questioning she admitted that he was at our house that night but nothing happen. Even though I counted the condoms and one was missing. What a mind game. I can’t remember if my counting was off. Yes we bought a house together, got engaged a year ago. And believe it or not her friend’s wife ended up in the hospital for a week two days later and was put in an induced coma for asthma treatment. My Fiancee’ would call him every morning to wake him up. He also is unemployed with 4 children and married for 16 yrs. I even lent him a portable heater and went over to meet him and his children. She still insist that it was not physical only what I have heard on the recording is what happen. Yes it was phone sex and you can imagine what I heard at the end. We are 11 years diference in age and she is an LPN and was stuck by an infected needle on September 30th. Was on meds for HIV for 30 days yet she is still testing negative thank god. I also have a lot of guilt for I am an Alcoholic and am over 6 months sober after a 4 year binge. She also was my next door neighbor and was aware of this. We also have been living together for four years and we both drank pretty heavy for awhile until she went to school for nursing. I just didn’t stop. I never was phsically abusive but I can whoop you down with words like any drunken fool. I have been divorce since 1994 and have two grown children. And you guess it yes for mainly the same reasons. We are going through everything you have mentioned and I love her more than words can tell. I know she feels the same. She won’t leave me and I can’t leave her. We are both in counciling together and on our own. I joke about going to family counciling without even being married. I also joke about that if I was in an open relationship I just can’t remember all the woman I had. LOL!!! No we are not in an open relationship, at least I wasn’t. Yes the trust is broken. It makes me think if this was the first time. She always said that ” Oh he’s just a friend” I believe there is a rap song with that line. We haven’t set a date yet for the wedding and I think I’ll wait on that for awhile. Again Gina thanks again! Believe me I wouldn’t of type this if it weren’t for what you have wrote. So she isn’t communicating with him no more that I know of or any of those so call friends. We spend alot of time together. Things are better as long as I just don’t think. And oh yes. I did have a little talk with his wife a little while after she was out of the hospital and feeling better.
!
P.S.
You gotta love Face Book!
Jen – Why would you put your personal political views on a message to a guy who is in obvious pain? Although I do not think that all soldiers are heroes – I was one, and married one – I do believe that what he is doing is honorable and you totally disrespected that and him.
I have enjoyed reading this blog. I caught my husband cheating on me this past September. He hit me with another bombshell the day I confronted him. This was the second time he had cheated. We were married in Jan 09. Its been four months of me trying to get over the hurt and pain. We are still together and although I have forgiven him, I do not trust him. I check his e-mail,search his phone and installed a program on his cell phone that allows me to read text messages at a later date(thats how I caught him before). I’m not proud of my actions but feel it necessary as he is in the Military and constantly travels. He is currently out of town and my fear and gut are telling me that he is going to cheat. Will my feelings of distrust go away or will I be like this for the rest of my life (at least while I am with him)? I love this man and am trying to trust him but it’s hard.
I just happened to land on this site and is very intrigued by the whole cheating thing. I am presently engaged to a military personnel and honestly i dont trust him at all. i really want to but it is extremely difficult. we have been together for 10 years, during that time he cheated with one of his collegues while in afghanistan, she became pregnent and bore him a son. we broke up for two years, and he stuck by her and she bore him another son. so now, he has two kids by her. During those two years apart, she began abusing him physically so he decided to leave. when he left ,she threatened to kill the kids and would not allow him to see his kids. The police was called and the rest is history. He cam back to me begginbg for forgiveness and eventually proposed. I still do love him,have forgiven him but i cant bring myself to trust him. TO JWB, what is the name of that program you installed on his phone to be able to read his text message. I think thats a brilliant idea to protect myself, because if i ever finds out that he cheats, i will surely kick him to the curb. He normally tours afghanistan and iraq and that’s where the trust issue gets comnplicated. Sometimes , men and women cheats expecting to get something better out there but there is nothing better out there if you cant love and appreciate the one that is right there with you.
I have not been in such a position, so it is easy for me to say. My focus is on my relationship with my husband. If its going well and we are happy together and I can get his attention when I need it, even if he has an affair, its not really my business. I’m his partner, not owner.
On the other hand, if our relationship is going bad and I can’t get his attention when I need it, even if he is not having an affair, he’s not being faithful to our relationship. I don’t need avoiding only certain kinds of hurtful actions. I need for us to be happy.
I love the line, “I’m his partner, not owner.”
By the way, I do know that women cheat. I’ve seen it done sloppily by both parties.
What we are talking about here is trust. What do you need in a relationship? Is it a relationship when there is no trust? Can it be rebuilt? I believe it can and it takes commitment and the willingness of the cheating partner to be open, completely open, while the cheated on partner, works through anger, betrayal, shame, and those things that might’ve been brought up by the cheating partner. Not easy, but it has been done.
Question what you tolerate.
B
Truly strange I should stumble upon this blog at this time in my life. I’ve been married for 7years to date, have to adorable kids(girl&boy) and love them to death.
Problem is, even though I spoke to my wife many times regarding what makes me unhappy in our marraige she just don’t seem to take any heed. To date, she NEVER would approach me for intimacy and if it don’t come from my side it simply just don’t happen, making me feel very unwanted. Also when it does happen I feel I’m in it alone & seems to me like it’s an obligations to her. It left me frustrated and alone with nobidy to talk to as this subject is very personal. Until recently myself and another female started talking because somehow we could relate to 1 another’s situations. It was all good to be able to speak to somebody about everything until recently where our conversation stretched beyond the norm and we realised we developing feelings for each other. At one time we kissed passionately but nothing beyond that. Believe me this was neither of our intentions, but must be honest being together makes us both smile even though we know it is wrong. Point I’m trying to make is, not all CHEATERS are guilty of cheating! And I’m not using this as an excuse, but sometimes partners, being it male or female are pushed towards commiting adultery by their unattentive spouses.
I know this discussion is about cheating and my experience may be a bit off-topic, but what do you think about the person who has cheated and is feeling guilty.
Though I have not exactly cheated on anyone, I have been feeling terribly guilty for last 6 months. I am soon going to get married which is an arranged one – meaning – my parents and the girl’s parent have arranged it for us. The problem is – 2 years ago I visited a call girl (I could have used the term prostitute as well), however, I have not told this to my prospective wife. I did tell her about a previous girlfriend I had.
I am not a sex addict or anything like that. I did it when I was with friends and treated it like an adventure (misplaced morals I know !). Do you people think that it is wrong to withhold this from my wife?? (By the way, the act with the prostitute was protected and I have got myself tested for all STDs many times – am negative for all of them)
Believe me I have been through everything that all have mentioned in their post,and you should never blame your partner if your feeling neglected and make that your excuse for cheating.My Mother always said once a cheater always a cheater! I was married for 15 years and I would have to say that through out the years,I caught him cheating numerous times and we went through the whole thing he was sorry and would not do it again,but believe me it doesn’t stop,in 15 years I caught him cheating 9 times and yes he was addictted to porn.I also found out he is bi-polar and also as a child he went with his father and sat on a porch as a child while his father was doing the nasty and cheating on his mother…So and ended up with a half brother and sister,who he has never met.I really do believe for some men and women it’s the fascination of something new and looking for the ultimate sex partner,but they find out what they had at home was the best,and always wants to come back.Take my word of advice “seriously” after all those years wasted and being seperated for five years he is still asking me to take him back.He also was in the millitary for a while but cheated worst when out of the millitary.If someone cheats on you,it’s not your fault no matter what,went through counseling ….helped me understand he had a serious problem and it helped him denied that he had a problem.We are talking about a man who cheated while I was In Intensive Care (ICU) and almost died. I had a Pulmonary embollism (blood clots in lungs) and that didn’t stop him,so please do not stay in a relationship because you love him,or for the kids because it makes it worst! When I was in ICU at the hospital I told myself that God was giving me a wake up call and put an end to it and I did! It was the BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE! My daughter and I live a quite peaceful life and she doesn’t stay sick like she did when him and I were together,so…..it takes a toll on your kids too! A year and ahalf later,just the thought of getting back with him makes me physically ill,so just imagine what kind of toll it takes on your health by being in a messed up relationship. So take my advice and Run like hell when a partner tells you they are cheating or if you catch them,Run………….and don’t look back! Believe me…..I can tell you some stories of how I embarrassed him in front of coworkers and in front of his women he cheated with and even he pulled time for the some of the incidents between us, but looking back now……..I wasted a lot of time and energy that I shouldn’t have.For example he worked night shift and would get off at 8:00am so I took and bought a huge dildo and super glued it to his car hood and attached a note ” Maybe your new girlfriend might want to ride something she can feel” Well all the employees walk out at the same time and he had to eventually take a bat and knock it off the hood.I must have glued it pretty good! What I’m trying to say……is he is still today asking me to give him another chance, five years later and believe me……I would never go back there!
Gina-
I felt like I was reading my own story! My husband did the same thing–with our next door neighbor. What saved my sanity and our marriage was counseling and his willingness to make it work. Our counselor was very clear that he (my husband) was in for a tough ride, because having destroyed my trust in him, he was going to have to put up with the suspicion and questioning for a long time. The “average” he said that it takes for a couple to rebuild trust is 2 years. That’s an average and if there have been multiple betrayals…. It’s been two and a half years and I still have flashes of “hmmmm…”, but our relationship is about 500x better than it EVER was.
ya so my husband never tecnically cheated on me. however i once found the web site ashley maddison on our computer, and I threw a fit. I ran into the living room the the craziest wife you have ever seen. the look on his face and u would have swore he craped his pants. that gave it away. he denied ever going on the web site. i went back into the office and continued to search my history till i finally came to his web page. his email and everything was there. his birthday was still the same date however he changed the year. Then i really tirpped. i confronted him again and he still denied it. he denied it for days untill i told him. say it. say that you really did it or i am leaving you. stop lieing to me and yourself and say it out loud that you did it. and he did. It broke my heart but him lieing to me made it a million times worse. good news. ashley maddison charges you so you cant really do anything unless you pay. so girls with cheap O husbands we luck out for once. but my eyes r definatley open now. Before I never suspected a thing. now………. i suspect everything.
As someone who’s suspected that they’ve been cheated on (and broke off that relationship)- I’m rather curious as to why anyone would get engaged or married to someone they didn’t trust. Having a legal record of your relationship on paper won’t make trust issues better. To those of you who love your partners, I would suggest sitting down with them and having a conversation (hopefully calm), if you have no reason to stay with them- find a way out! There IS someone out there who will love you for who you are and not leave you. Furthermore- think about it- you don’t NEED someone else to make you happy- though sometimes it can help. Find the things that you love to do and do them. Be yourself- and people will find the beauty in you.
ok, so i have been cheated on by a soldier. 3 months before we were to be married and a week before my birthday… lucky for me!! i was devestated at first but then i thought to myself that if it wasnt meant to be then it wouldnt be. this happened to me for a reason. I am still friends with this man, but dont conversate with him that often. Sooner or later you move on and find better or someone who is meant for you and you just kinda forgive the past and look to the future… what im saying is that life is too short to worry about cheating partners, live your life and and that special someone will find you either way. i still love this man and he will always have a peice of my heart but my daughter has my whole heart and she is the main reason i am where i am today… so to eveybody that has been cheated on by the person they love or think they love, just dont worry so much about it, if its meant to be it will be!!!
I got sic k, ended up in intensive care, spent 18 days and lost part of my colon. 2 days after being admitted my hubby gets his own checking account, own p.o. box, even though mail is deliver to our house, gets a truck to leave where he works for running back and forthe home (supposedly) quits wearing his ring. Then 5 months after my surgery he tells me HE had ME followed, planted audio and video and got me with some guy, etc. One we haven’t got the money for the P.I. he claimed to have hired, two I was laid up about 3 1/2 of those months, he cut off all funds for my care and my folks were pretty much supporting me, and he claims I was cheating, swears he wasn’t etc. Just what the heck is all this, Was he cheating? wanting to cheat? I know his cell usage went up almost double for several months.
To ASH ON…….
what bull! Blaming your spouse for YOUR cheating. Only you make that choice!!!!
When u marryed it was for better or worse right?!
So u didn’t get attention boo-hoo!!!!!
Grow up guys!!!!!